The sessions will be at Iffley Sports Centre in the Main Hall on Sunday morning 11-12:30 and Wednesday evening 9-10:30
After rendezvousing in Nottingham Sport centre, the group psyched themselves up into a frenzy. This process was ably facilitated by Thomson the tank engine, who generously presented the unit with our tournament stash. Massive respect to both TTTE and her Mum for the exquisite colour combination and imagery.
Our first entanglement was with De Montford. Our Oxford team stepped onto the pitch ready for an epic thrashing. We triumphed. Goals were pleasantly sprinkled across the ranks. Next up, Edinburgh 2, a game which would turn out to define Oxford’s fate in the tournament. Just as when Napoleon launched his Grande Armée to their ferocious yet fateful charge, despite outrageous goals from Sexual Healin and TTTE, Oxford’s elite ranks were unable to blast through the defencing lines of Edinburgh 2. A major blow.
After some quick flamingo calculations, the squad were under no illusions: The next game against Leeds Becket needed to be beaten by a margin of at least three goals, since they had beaten Edinburgh 2 in their first game. We defiantly fought for the entire 30 minutes, leading at times with a two goal lead, but we couldn’t quite pull away. Although we won the match, the necessary goal difference was too meagre. We’d missed our chance at a shot at the big time, and a place in the top eight.
Our final official game for the day brought us against Soton 2. The victory was smooth and satisfying, and a cracking hat trick from Glennie Stafani sealed it. Too keen, the final unofficial korfball game of day Killer saw us kill De Montford players left right and centre. With our guys killed, (Dino Dave forgetting the ball needs to go in the korf and Allyana dispatched twice by uncharacteristic stingray shooting...) our girls were korfball assassins making it till the end.
Onto the social aspects of the tournament. This began with the Brizzle car’s departure for… hang on, wait. No this began with the Brizzle car firmly remaining where it had been parked owing to a flat battery. Fortunately support was at hand in the form of the Ox-Car. A stout vehicle equipped with a range of reignition equipment (i.e. jump leads), but lacking in expertise on how to deploy these wonderful devices.
Seeing what must have been a baffling sight of some of the country’s supposed finest minds gathered around a couple of hatchbacks scratching their heads and tapping insanely at their smart devices, an unspent resource in the form of an idle bus driver came to the squad’s rescue. Unsurprisingly enough, our hero in hi-vis knew what do to with the jumps leads, and by a miracle of physics and engineering, both vehicles were back on the road, wheels rolling, powered by a functioning engine (and battery).
Was this enough excitement? It should have been surely. Eventually all parties reconvened at the Sherwood Forest YHA for a sensational curry dinner provided by our favourite childhood character and her Bristolian minions (the coordinated kind). However, this moment came only after a shambolic adventure through the gun capital of Britain, known as Nottingham a.k.a Shott-ingham. Bow and arrows country this ain’t no more!! We may have spent some time visiting a car-park our satnav was convinced is an ASDA but the Ox-car eventually delivered the goods, booze and a cheeky desert. Once the curry was happily consumed, priorities switched to consumption of another kind. After a few games of Mafia, in which we all learnt that ALPS cannot be trusted and everyone should keep an eye on MIKE, we turned in.
We slept well, and awoke hungry for glory. The second day of the tournament awaited. A cracking breakfast and back on the road, morale booming.
Lizard then joined the party, injecting some vital added momentum (thanks Lizard for voyaging from Leeds). First match of the day was against UEA 3, and within minutes lizard sank two goals in the korf and we were on to an easy winner.
Final match of the tournament and Oxford were pit against Birmingham 3, a perfect way to end the tournament and a fitting retaliation for our kindred put to the sword by the Brummies at the Plate Tournament. We played with elegance and panache, special mention to Dino Dave for some exquisite volley ball moves on the lines, and four classic goals! After an agreeable photo shoot we commenced our goodbyes and the Ox car crew embarked homeward.
Special thanks to the Bristol crew for staying for the final to see the home team Nottingham beat our Devonshire friends Exeter to take the Trophy and our own Glennie Stafani who topped off a day of beautifully played korfball to be awarded the prestigious male MVP of the whole tournament!!! (Buuuut is his Karaoke as good as his korfball??? Find out next term folks!!)
Before we bring this report to a close, a huge thanks to Martin for his coaching throughout the season! Thanks also to everyone on the first team squad for an excellent effort all season, honouring your commitments with a fine turnout and display at all three rounds of nationals, as well as the training sessions, particularly the early Tuesday ones! Historians of future generations will examine our performance record, and will wonder what happened as they go on to analyse the subsequent triumphs that await this squad. We can afford to be similarly clairvoyant, the foundation has been laid.