Burnard the Bear

Date: Mon, 04 Nov 1996 13:53:22 -0500 (EST)
From: Robert Champ 
Subject: Burnard the Bear [9780]
Note: Mail transport via Digital Equipment of Canada Ltd. Calgary gateway.
Comments: Gaslight Literary Discussion List

As the children who play in the wood are aware,
You can tweak the nose of the lion in his lair,
You can give the buck at his feeding a scare,
But you'd better not, better not, better not, better not,
Better not bother the bear.

No one knows what rouses his guard,
What words are forbidden, what trifles are barred,
Only you'd best not, you'd best not, you'd best not
You'd best not stir up
The wrath of Burnard.

Burnard sleeps peacefully inside his cave
As ghosts haunt and tecs daunt and victims are saved,
And he says not a word, be you coward or brave,
But you'd better be-, better be-, better be- better be,
Better, my children, be-have!

Or Burnard will come out and give such a growl
As will loosen the feathers of peacock and owl,
Cross him just once and he'll be on the prowl,
And you'll find yourself, find yourself, find yourself, find yourself,
Giving a most blood-curdling howl.

So always be good and play in the sun,
Haunt and detect and construe silly puns,
Talk about books and old ships and old guns,
But when you see Burnard, see Burnard, see Burnard,
When you see Burnard --- be ready to run!