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Committee 2008/2009 President alan chetwynd at keble oxford Alan Chetwynd After being exiled from OUCCC, Chairman Cheggers slowly manoeuvred himself in his new-found home of OUAC until the time was ripe for the coup which placed him as its despotic leader. But it is not only the corridors of power in which The Glorious Leader is adept at slowly manoeuvring - it is often commented at just how slowly he seems to manoeuvre round the track, where he occasionally attempts to keep in trim shape, as to set a Shining Example to our Powerful Nation. After pledges to cut Oxford's pollution levels, allow unlimited access to wireless internet from his laptop at the track, and stating that members of OUCCC would be allowed to run freely at Iffley Road, The Chairmen managed to win the rights to host the Freshers Varsity Match in 2008. However, since then, Oxford's pollution has threatened to cut the performance of Tab athletes by a 1/3 (or at least that's their excuse), his laptop has run out of battery, and The Supreme One has reportedly been seen riding across the countryside atop his stallion, Sylvia, hunting cross-country runners for sport. His favourite colour is red. With a nice gold star or two in the corner for good luck.   Men's Captain dane austin at balliol oxford Dane Austin Smash! Tinkle of glass! The crowd goes wild! The commentator is screaming at the top of his voice "Luke-warm! Luke-warm!" This was the case back in the late 1980's, when Dane's previous career as professional wrestler "Luke-Warm" Dane Austin was in its heyday. After suffering a serious injury at the hands of "The Pee Dough" Phil Duggleby at Pointless Lycra Mania XXIV, Dane was forced into early retirement, and the hum-drum life that is training for 800m races. However, his thirst for Power (an Australian brand of beer he drinks) and Fame (an Australian brand of women's underwear he poses in) went unquenched, and so he became one of the Almighty President's lieutenants, which then made him the captain of the men's team. When not discharging his glorious duties at the track, and not tracking his glorious desk sergeant, the Captain Lieutenant of Men likes to dress up in his lycra, crack people over the head with a suspiciously bendy steel chair, and relive the old days! And that's the bottom line, because the formatting of this document says so!   Women's Captain emily binner at magd oxford Emily Binner Before arriving at Oxford, Emily the Grouch had a successful life on American children's television, until she was fired after turning up to work drunk, headbutting Big Bird, and throwing up on The Cookie Monster. Desparate to put these career-destroying events behind her, Emily changed her surname (her sense of nostalgia is ever-present), and promptly threw herself into rehab and training in an attempt to regain her former toned physique, so that she might make a sensational comeback to the big screen in 2009 as Batman's latest enemy (The Binner). However, the press have continued to hound her every move, recently snapping photos of her being thrown into a New College skip by the hammer-throwing Josh Abraham-Steele. When questioned over the nature of his relationship with Ms. Binner, Josh pointed to the slogan on the sticker of said dumpster. It read: "It only takes a minute to bag it, and bin it."   Honorary Secretary carolyn plateau at oriel oxford Carolyn Plateau For profile, see below.   Junior Treasurer,Membership oliver stogdale at seh oxford Oliver Stogdale Everybody is fond of Oli, mild-mannered keeper of the OUAC accounts. Few are aware that his friendly disposition is maintained only by a continuous diet of organic honey, without which his hair turns the colour of Powerade and a terrifying superhuman alter ego, the Honey Monster, emerges.   Vice Captain (Men) andrew bullimore at st-annes oxford Andy Bullimore   Vice Captain (Women) carolyn plateau at oriel oxford Carolyn Plateau For profile, see above.   Sponsorship, Alumni louise steele at queens oxford Louise Steele   Fixtures Secretary jack matthews at spc oxford Jack Matthews   Social Secretary #1 cwitcombe at googlemail com Cat Witcombe   Social Secretary #2 daniel johnson at new oxford Dan Johnson http://eu.wowarmory.com/character-sheet.xml?r=Bladefist&n=Nightbeard   Kit Rep mark ponsford at hertford oxford Mark Ponsford It is rarely difficult to tell the difference between a ray of sunshine and a scalpel-wielding sprinter, and anyone who has meet Mark recently will have no difficulty placing him in the latter category. Aka 'The Ponsf', 'Ponse' or 'Ponsie', Mark has progressed from slicing up dead things as a 3rd year medic and may soon get the opportunity to hack away at living people instead; a comforting thought for all of us just a heart attack away from the John Radcliffe Infirmary. Progress on the track has been mirrored by progress in the seniority of Mark's committee positions, moving from sponsorship secretary through junior treasurer to culminate this year in the vital position of kit rep. Rumours that he has been seen doing 200s at the track in hot pants and a sports bra have been justified on the basis of testing new kit.