2004/2005 Season Competition Reports
Results 2004/2005

Competition          |  A  B  |  (rank)
Warwick              | 23  27 |   7  7
Aberdeen             |  9  -  |  12
Varsity              |  4   3 |  12 
Nottingham           | 14  22 |  11  9


A Team: Hilary, Jo, Emily and Chris

B Team: Will, Alex R, Gillian and James

Now holding the coveted Fresher's competition slot, Warwick were back to four person teams this year, and we managed (shock horror!) to get two teams out!

We didn't get off to the best of starts thanks to Virgin Trains lateness which meant we arrived 10 mins after registration had closed. After a quick change it was off to isolation, the B team had been drawn third so escaped quickly. This was lucky for our poor mascot which Alex was about to destroy through boredom! The teams with the new flag

The dry incident was set at a party...or two parties...or something anyway neither teams got electrocuted by the toaster which was a good start. The revellers had various injuries including choking, glass and spiky thing injuries, a sprained ankle and general drunkness. There was also a vomiting manikin. The Bs missed the sneakily hiddent first aid kit but Hilary found it, albeit just at the end of the incident when it was too late to use any of it!

The wet incident was set in a cold canal and had quite a large number of wet casualties. Will was all for not going in the canal but changed his mind at the last minute. Apart from the usual non-swimmers there was a baby manikin and a guy tied to the bottom with the rope, a blind man who had lost his stick and someone who was choking.

Before the speed events we had to exchange a few words with London who had stolen our new and v. shiny flag. Apparently stealing flags is simply hilarious in London, although anyone with a slightly more high brow sense of humour (like your average monkey) might not agree with this sentiment.

The B Team

The B team had a storming rope throw (apart from one teeny infringement) with all but James getting it out (James ran out of time!). On the A team Chris gave us a stunning lead - which we then err squandered..never mind! We didn't get any infringements though.

The swim and tow was next and the A team managed the feat of not being disqualified (pretty impressive for us) we also managed a good position of 11th with 7.45. Then it was the speeds relay (25 swim, swim with fins, swim with buoy and swim with fins, buoy and casualty). Hmm maybe some bigger fins might be a good idea!

Warwick A won - Congratulations!



Gillian, Simon, Nick & HIlary

Team: Hilary, Nick, Simon and Gillian

It seemed like a good idea when we booked the flights, but getting up at 4:30am on Saturday definitely tested our dedication to the club! After a quick stop to pick up the all-important team munchies (mini chocolate muffins); Hilary had left them at the Clarendon Lab; we were on our way to Luton Airport in Nick's car. We thought Luton was pretty cold - that is until we arrived in Aberdeen to find an inch of snow and ice outside the airport! Aberdeen University Life-Saving Club "The club that cares" braved the weather and the early morning [we arrived before 9am] to come and collect us and took us to our hostess' house in Old Aberdeen. Simon, who had left the airport in a different car via Tesco, soon arrived and provided us with essential supplies of custard doughnuts - and then ate half of them himself slumped in front of TMF for most of the morning. Meanwhile Nick fell asleep and Hilary and Gillian went for tea with the Vice-Chancellor of Aberdeen Uni (a family friend).

It was all so civilised, but things degenerated rapidly when we got to the competition and started drinking, gambling and generally being debauched - well we had some bottled water, goat's cheese sandwhiches and a few games of Rummy! We were drawn 3rd last and so were forced to spend 2 hours in isolation listening to Nottingham University trying to learn the alphabet (no, seriously), Loughborough squabbling over who had to be Captain this time and London's discussion of tactics for the swim & tow (eventually they decided that getting into the water and swimming fast was the way forward).

The incident was combined - involving CPR on baby, child and adult manikins, locked swimmers, a de-hydrated life-guard and a non-swimmer. Use your imagination to fill in the blanks! We managed the casualties pretty well, but perhaps could have gone for help earlier [none of the casualties had a mobile phone]. Then, after some confusion and various Captains' meetings we started the other events. The rope throw went very well for Oxford, until they remembered that they'd brought Gillian with them, and it all went wrong after that...moving on...next was the swim & tow which was a cheetah like 7:50 minutes. This was 30 seconds faster than the team's last practice race. Finally the manikin relay also went well - we beat the other team in our heat: Nottingham A. Yay! Throughout the competition, Oxford managed to avoid getting any time penalties or reprimands, which was also very satisfying.

So, after waiting 3 hours for a cold buffet in Aberdeen Uni Students' Union, the results were announced and Oxford came 9th. After some drinking games and exceedingly cheesy music, we moved on to Aberdeen city; via a private double-decker bus; to enjoy Scotland's late licensing hours, before heading off to a private club for yet more drinking games and some dreadful dancing. Finally, we staggered home via Lionel Richie's chip shop [Nick was feeling distinctly queasy by now]. Then a couple of hours later we had to get up ludicrously early again for the flight home. Yawn! All-in-all a pleasant and intimate competition organised by a very friendly club in a beautiful snow-covered city.

London A won - well done to them!

Quotes...Nick: "There's an interesting article about lard in today's Independent"

Hilary: "Men never win at Rummy because they just can't commit!"



The Leys School, Cambridge

A Team: Hilary, Jo, Emily and Alex L

B Team: Will, Gillian, Katie and Lisi

This year we opted for 4 person wet and dry incidents (3 mins) set by our expert judges. The dry incident was outside and was a simulated RTA involving a car and a cyclist. The driver and front passenger had a head injury and a broken arm (respectively), and a girl in the back was having an asthma attack. There was a sneakily hidden inhaler for her, and a first aid kit with a few space blankets. There was also a girl having an epileptic fit, a manikin and a very annoying journalist taking pictures with a camera phone.

The oxford teams were generally ok with the dry, thankfully not making the mistake of moving the cyclist who had a spinal injury. Both Katie and Hilary got bored of the epileptic after a while though and Gillian was a bit forceful with the journalist - but it seemed to work all the same.

There was also a slight diversion in the form of someone from the school turning up with a dog and mistaking the incident for reality and offering to phone an ambulance!

In the wet incident (set in a pool) there was an aerobics class with someone having a heart attack, a tango man, two locked swimmers and a shivering person. It was very loud in the pool which made communicating difficult and the locked swimmers required 2 floats not just one, something that Katie grasped but unfortunately not Alex. There was also a lifeguard with an unjured ankle who fell in (much to Hilary's disgust). Emily dealt with the heart atack victim expertly but neither team got the tango man.

The rope throw was won by Cambridge A with Oxford A coming in 2nd with an excellent performance from everyone, getting it out 1st time (definitely a first in a competition for us!). The swim and tow was similar with us coming 2nd, although there was a terribly exciting and close finish with Hilary and Christ... from the Cambridge B team. The medley relay wasn't too successful with Oxford coming 3rd and 4th. We need a bit of changeover practice I think!

So Cambridge having won all the events came first - congratulations to them! We've had 8 Varsity Matches and now it's now 4:4!



A Team: Hilary, Jo, Chris and Alex L

B Team: Will, Emily, Gillian and Ruth

Nationals was held in Nottingham again, so Nick drove us up there in a spacious minibus on the morning of 19th Feb. After registering, politely declining any of the frightful food or social tickets and having letters daubed on our right hands, we settled down for another lengthy wait in the chilly University gym. Oxford B were drawn in the 2nd heat and Oxford A in the 3rd, so we had plenty of time to practice knot-tying and to fraternise with our enemies (Cambridge, Warwick and Newcastle).

The Stations event was as nonsensical and tedious as can only be expected from Nottingham, and much to the B Team's relief our co-opted member [Ruth] got the knots station! All that time Emily spent mastering the difference between the various hitches was completely in vain! The 4-person dry incident was set at a campsite and seemed quite spread out even though most of the participants weren't actually injured! There were 2 manikins: a choking baby and an unconscious adult both with no circulation. Accompanying them were an irritating mother (although Hilary became increasingly dubious about the baby's parentage when the mother couldn't recall its name!) and some bystanders who were sent for help. There was also a girl with a broken leg, another with hypothermia and a third who was just drunk/stoned/stupid (delete as appropriate). Alex's use of a roll-mat as a blanket raised some eyebrows but otherwise it was quite straightforward.

The wet incident, set in a public swimming pool, was a bit more complicated however. After being ushered into the pool by a hastily exiting lifeguard the teams encountered various casualties: unconscious, locked swimmers, panicky, injured and otherwise incapacitated. The B Team walked straight past the First Aid Kit and the radio, but thankfully the A Team were more attentive! Emily tried in vain to separate the locked swimmers, who seemed to be very selective about which teams they would co-operate for, and ended up being dunked. Gillian got lots of 'safety' points for shouting at the casualty with cramp rather than entering the water and for refusing to touch the manager who could have suffered a spinal injury. Chris continued the A Team's run of ingenuity by attempting to use a blown-up bin liner as a float but, sadly, the tango man and the fact that the building was on fire completely escaped our notice! There was some controversy over Nick's instructions for operating the radio: neither Hilary nor the Captain of Birmingham B heard him, but in the end the chief judge found in our favour.

The rope throw was unexpectedly successful for both teams as only Hilary and Cambridge Ruth needed 2 attempts. Similarly the swim-and-tow went well, except for some confusion between Emily and Ruth, and neither team came in last in their respective heats. During the 50m medley relay we marvelled at the size of the other clubs' fins and christened our shiny new torpedo buoy.

Finally, hoarse from shouting at the other team we queued for the 1 shower in the changing rooms and made a hasty exodus to Pizza Hut. Will then drove us back to Oxford and the Tabs texted us the results: Oxford A came 13th and Oxford B came 16th.

Birmingham A won - so we'll be off to the land of Brummies next year!