But just where were Ragini and Tab Dan?
We arrived at the union ready supplied with fish n chips only to find that ULU had lost the room booking! After a lot of fussing and extremely fast-talking we managed to get in to eat as close to the bar as possible. The drinking games began as we finished off the food. This is where our memories of the evening become hazy. Were not sure exactly what drinking games we played but in an extensive discussion (consisting of Nick, Nic and anyone else who happened to be paying attention at the time, we did write this report at the pub...) we decided that fuzzy ducks, wiz bang pop and left hand driving was in there somewhere.
Simon started talking to Will because as he put it: "You guys are so mean! You're not talking to him, so I'm going to. No, go away. I'm talking to him now!" Having abandoned Will to his fate, the rest of us went onto the dance floor. Some time later we managed to lose Ragini and Tab Dan....
How many tabs can you fit in Martin's room?
And why wasn't one of them Simon?
After a competition where the tabs trounced us, we managed to lose them (unintentionally) on the way to the pub. We all trekked to the north parade, to a closed pub (Alex's fault of course) so we decided to drown our sorrows next door instead. After everyone turned up, the tabs ended up sitting by themselves for a while until the Oxford team stopped ignoring them and acknowledged their presence. Ragini also kept having phone calls from her soon to be ex.
We eventually all took off in separate directions. The tabs trekked to Martins via Tesco's in search of food. They took ages, arrived late and we couldn't manage to get Nic and Ragini (now single) in the same place. Martin's housemates took the arrival of about fifteen random people fairly well by not actually throwing us out of the house.
Everybody turned up very late to have a curry near Park End. We were sitting fairly close to each other due to random friends turning up. Meanwhile we caught up on gossip as Dan dropped hints about London. Greg made one of his moves on Laura (unsuccessfully) while Simon chatted up Airlie. The food was good and the beer even better, which is all you can really ask for. The tabs drank some sparkly and moaned about the lack of medals while we just shrugged our shoulders and said we had no money left. Since it had been such a long time since they had last won a varsity competition they seemed to be unaware of the Varsity trophy. Obviously nobody enlightened them...
After the meal, we walked on to Jericho while the tabs started to miss Cambridge as their feet got sore. As the pub upstairs wasnt open yet we had to sit downstairs for ages while the tabs lost at connect four. Both the swimmers and the water polo players had also lost to the tabs :-( Once the pub opened we went up and starting drinking heavily. Somehow the tabs kept losing their shirts (no really, we do wonder how?!) Nicola stripped Martin (again). Greg wouldn't get served at the bar - they probably thought he was underage... We are all sure that Nicola did something very embarrassing but we can't remember for the life of us, and she claims to have forgotten (very unsportsman like we all feel). Simon had managed to pull Airlie by now and the rest of the tabs walked over to Martin's without him.
During the obvious Oxford V Cambridge argument we found that since Oxford has more kebab vans and brass studs in the pavements it has to be the better university. Logic, right?! Martin nicked Beckys bike and tried to ride it down the middle of the High Street. He also failed to pick up a road sign but cut his hand in the process. Undeterre, he stole a traffic cone and threw it off Magdalen Bridge when it got too heavy for him to carry. Once the tabs got back to Martin's, they found they had lost Simon along the way (well, technically they lost him at the pub door, but being Tabs they are a bit dense...) They gave up on him eventually and went to sleep on Martins floor, except for Dan. In the mean time Nic made loads of toast, Martin and Greg kept arguing about the music.
Simon reappeared at 9am the following day, having spent the night at Nick's (who wasn't there, but Airlie was. You can draw your own conclusions ;-). The Tabs left and then came back to pick up the top we had nicked when Simon eventually turned his mobile back on.
Greg, are you still wearing your gown?
Following the AGM we all collected our gowns and went to Magdalen bar. We first offended Alex by ignoring the Ribena tradition (it just didn't seem the same without him). We also found that it was a non-sherry night. Due to this distinct lack of alcohol we got desperate and bought bottles of wine from Magdalen. We then came in late to dinner, talked throughout the speeches and drank a lot. The meal was brilliant - what are the chances of finding real food in a college? The honourable secretary decided to be selfish with his wine and drink it himself instead of sharing it out. He was therefore well on the way to being drunk by the end of the meal. Somehow there was free port at the end of the meal too which made up for the sherry (something to do with Americans donating money towards the upkeep of Magdalen Tower). We stumbled back into the bar where Greg downed his pint (for receiving the Chris Bray award for extreme muppetry) while wearing his gown.
As Nic couldnt find any deer, she started talking to the fence instead. We moved on to Wadham bar and on the way Nic and Martin dropped Cat into a puddle. We got into Wadham through the side gate where? Annant downed the rest of the wine and Greg nearly got chucked out for arguing with the barman over serving his beer in a pint glass - noticing a trend here? Nick refused to do forward rolls on the lawn with cries of "It's too muddy! I'm cold. Help!" Out of kindness we let him do them in the bar instead, much to the consternation of everyone else. Greg was still wearing his gown.
Greg persuaded us to go to St. Annes eventually and on the way randomly greeted many rather confused people. Martin stalked people on the way. We searched for a way in having walked all the way around the college. We played pool for a while and then let Nic and Becky loose on the table for a very long time. Greg made a few rather inappropriate comments to his friend, lost loads of money on the arcades and then got kicked out when the bar shut. Martin, Greg and Annant played knock and run on Gregs ex but managed to get confused by a closed door. Alas it managed to get kicked down in the struggle, and we were told off by the porters. However, before they could do anything about it, we ran away. quickly. Greg was still in his gown!
We decided to head to the PT. Greg carried on abusing people while Martin almost killed him by giving him a piggy back ride and then dropping him! Unlucky. Eventually we did meet somebody we knew and nicked food off them. Who was that girl and was she fit? Nic and Martin went for cash and came back with McDonalds. Greg was still wearing his gown.
We arrived at the Purple Turtle and Nic found her camera! Many, many
drinks later and after a lot of random photos involving people we did not
know, Greg poured a pint of water on Becky. Nick left claiming he had
work. Work?! We shouldn't know the meaning of the word. Nicola, having said
goodbye, then tried to find him ten minutes later... Following yet more
drinks, we started throwing ice cubes around and with a few well aimed
shots from Annant, Nic suddenly found ice cubes in all sorts of places. We
all had huge hangovers the following day (except for Nick who got a job
instead). Need I say it?
OK, Greg was still in his gown!
Yes, it did snow again
In true style, and following on from last year, it snowed for Nottingham. Lots and lots and lots, though for a change not on the way home, always a bonus.
We didn't end up staying for the entire social, as Aimee needed to be back in Oxford that evening, and being the driver she kinda won. However, that didn't stop us from getting suprisingly drunk in the two hours we stayed for...
Drinking was slow to start (the bar wasn't open until after the meal,
quite a shocker really), but once it had began there was no stopping it.
We were placed into teams, with the entirety of Oxford ending up with Tab,
Becky Fresh, some loughbra type and a few other late arrivals. Oh, and
some bloke from Nottingham as our guide. Nice guy, but no-one can remember
what he's called.. Anyway, we went to the first bar, played a drinking
game that entailed swigging from a bottle then passing it to the person on
your left, swigging from this one then passing it on etc. After that, we
downed a shot, put Becky in a shopping trolly and headed to the second
Here, we repeated the bottle exercise, then prepared for the next challenge. This involved a stick, running in circles and downing a bottle. Quite simple really. Then onwards to bar number three, passing Bournemouth tied together and standing still in the corridoor. In the bar, several silly people drank a strange concoction through a straw, while the rest of us pointed and laughed. We prepared to head home, while the others tied themselves together. On the way out, our team were spotted storming past Bournemouth, who'd not quite made it out of the door by this point...
"No, I didn't pull him."
"Is Greg still whingeing?!"
As per usual, we were on a boat. Allegedly, a bigger one than last year, but we're not convinced. However, it did have beer and a dance floor, so what more can you ask for?
A person from a club that will remain nameless was overheard making the first comment of the night. It'll make sense to those who were there, and far to long to explain to anyone else so we won't bother trying. The second quote comes from the person who's floor we slept on. Yes Greg, you did moan all the way back to her house (an hours walk). Oh, apart from the times when you were insulting her or her boyfriend...
The goose flies butter in the window.
It'd been a while since our last Top Secret Social, and there were a suprisingly large number of us still to be found in Oxford. So, with much deliberation, and the sudden realisation that the monday night Dales Fun Quiz was no more, the meeting point was set as Magdalen Bar. The time, 8pm.
So, in true lifesaving style, Nick rocked up about 10 past 8. Nicola and
Martin wandered in about 10 minutes later. Cat arrived shortly after, and
we were all present (except the ever "puntuality-challenged" Becky) by
The first order of the night was some pool playing. Owing to initial numbers, the first match was a closely fought one between Nick and Martin. After that, Chris challenged Martin, and another close game ensued. Then, some mad fool let Nic and Aimee on the table...
About 6 years later (ok, 20 minutes), Aimee emerged as the victor. We think the first 7 shots of the match were fouls, and about every second one after that was too. So, without much further ado, we trapsed next door and started on the real calling of the night, Trivial Persuit.
The teams were: Nick and Nic, Chris and Cat, Martin and Ruth & Aimee and Alex. Unfortunately we ran out of time before the game could be concluded, but here's a quick summary:
We also took lots of photos:
The butterfly flaps its wings as the tortoise races.
Following the sucess of the secret 9th week social, we got the CIA, MI6 and KGB back in to sort us out another of their top secret socials. The select few presented themselves in Magdalen Bar, holding a pint, and uttered the above passphrase.
And then got a few strange looks from the conference guests who'd invaded the bar. Oh well, you can't have everything...
The aim of the evening was - To Kill Doctor Lucky! Yes, once almost everyone was present and had a pint in their hand, we dragged the smokers (Martin and Jo) kicking and screaming into the non smoking section of the bar (which has useful board shaped tables), set up the game, and prepared to play. Well, as soon as we'd tried to explain the rules three times anyway.
For those of you who have yet to play this delightful game, think of it as
the inverse of Cludo. The give you more of an idea, here are a few select
"Why do all mystery games start just after all the fun is over?"
"Before the night is over, someone is going to kill Doctor Lucky. Wouldn't you rather it was you?"
After a few minutes, we'd got the hang of the game, and all was running mostly smoothly. Nick (green pawn) and Alex (purple pawn) had an advantage of having played before, but this wasn't to prove too important as the game progressed. As ever, Martin (red pawn) and John (yellow pawn) picked the game up quite quickly, and were rapidly attacking the Doctor with tight hats and pots of bad cream. Nicola (asthma inhaler lid) did quite well, when she wasn't moaning about the coke from the bar. Jo (lipstic lid) always seemed to gravitate towards the kitchen and resolutely stay there, even if she didn't have the crepe pan... Finally, the late arrivals Becky (her "engagement" ring) and Hannah (Martin's signet ring) did quite well given that they hadn't actually heard the initial reading of the rules!
In true style of the game, both wins were due to misjudging the number of failure cards to be had around the table. Martin won first (Nicola - "uh? I thought I had another failure card") and then Alex won the second (Alex - "Nick, that's a movement card not a failure card"). Alas we didn't have the camera this week, so no photos to try to get accross just what we were all up to. Still, some highlights included Jo using her piece to attack other players and even the doctor (and what she was saying as she did this...), Jo going on about her bed, the dazed look Hannah wore for the entire time she was playing (10 minutes but only goes for her, it's a strange game like that), and all the comments about the murder weapons. Oh, and let's not forget the "animal" noises from Jo..
Around the end of the second game, a mysterious list was floated around. People voted for things on it, then voted again, though this had very little bearing on what actually happened based on it, but more on that later.
Once we'd completed the second game and last orders had been called, the lure of the Pool Table became too strong, and we drifted next door. First up were Martin and Jo vs Nick and Nic. In a suprisingly closely fought game (including Martin fouling on the break and Jo doing strange things with a cue), Martin and Jo just won. Triumphant, they stayed on the table, and were challenged by the mighty duo of Alex and John. Alas at this point the webmaster went to collect stuff, and the record of this titanic clash is lost. Still, at the end of it John got a shirt, Nic got the hat she thought she'd lost, and Nick appeared with a small box.
Thus, having completed the murder mystery part of our Top Secret social,
we meandered up to the JCR, and installed ourselves in front of the huge
TV with surround sound that Magdalen JCR so nicely has. By some strange
fluke (related to the encumbrent occupants of the JCR more than anything
else), we ended up then watching Fight Club, the vore winning dvd from
earlier. That is, once we'd figured out how to set up the surround sound,
and remembered the difference between the video and the dvd player...
Oh, and hats off to Martin for giving away the entire plot to Jo about 10 minutes in, just after she said "I haven't watched this before". Nice.
<alex>This is Alex's friend Richard
Since it would seem that some of us just refuse to ever go home, we had yet another out of term social. This time we decended up The Angel And Greyhound. Supposedly, we were meeting at 8. However, in practice, Nick and Jo made it for 8:15, while Alex, Richard, Chris and Aimee rocked along by about 8:30. Much to our suprise, Becky arrived with them and not an hour later! If it wasn't for the fact that she'd promised to be there for 8pm sharp, we'd remove her nickname of "tardy"...
While waiting for the others to arrive, Nick and Jo found the Trivial Persuit set, and started a game. Three moves in, the others arrived, and a new game was begun.
It was at this point that we were all introduced to Richard. He's a friend of Alex's from school, who's at $tinpot_uni (Warwick or something) and was in Oxford to use the Bod for the week. Jo, as ever, was chatting away and so missed his introduction. Richard, well trained as he was, then popped to the bar to get in a round. On his return, Jo realised her error, and almost politely asked him what his name was. Richard found this quite ammusing, so answered "Simon", which Jo accepted until our giggles tipped her off!
We then played some Trivial Persuit. The teams were: Nick and Richard, Jo and Aimee, Chris and Becky and Alex (on his own owing to winning the game two weeks previously). We also pulled out the camera at this point, and took a very large number of photos. Hopefully, these'll be online shortly.... Below is a quick summary of the game: