OUOC - into the new Millenium AGM 2000 Volume 1,Issue 1
Price: Free (until Neil gets wind of it)
The Tooler is Tom N's fault. No complaints.


(compiled by Kate Urch)


After years of their sharing of training runs and ankle tape our esteemed President gets ever closer to turning her life over to former OUOC President Dave Curry (not to be confused with the OUOC Christmas Currie). Oh yes, the happy couple are to form their own Committee on 2nd September. Readers will remember how their peach of an engagement announcement at the 1999 Varsity Match resulted in some amazing physical reactions, later mistaken to be dancing. In fact the Chimpster was so over the moon his celebrations earned him the last (and first) Simon Beck Memorial Dancing Trophy of the last Millenium.

The Tab Captain... Because he turns up everywhere.


by Rob Pmaler

Wel not much has hapenned in the polly's O seen this yer now top runner K-leb Gold has gon and the training weak was cold and may be next yer we will do more!


Over the year members of OUOC have been off running with the newly formed Oxford Hash House Harriers. Rumour has it that these addicts follow trails of 'substances' around the streets of Oxford before turning to drink. Beware of these people as they will try to win you over to their undercover habits.


And other shameful exposes...

The Tooler's intrepid reporters have picked up on the scandal of the year. New runner Caroline Catmur forcibly denied her claim to be (?from) SLOW with a speedy pick-up in TABland. Rumours that her dancing with the devil began as early as the legendary Sprint-O are to be questioned for surely no-one would delay the minibus for time with one of them? When interviewed yesterday Caroline ensured us that "They're not all Filthy cheating Tabs" but a MORI survey of all Oxford students showed that almost 99% doubted this statement. Meanwhile the heresy goes on. It has been said that at least she held him down, which is apparently more than Alc-O Champ Tom N managed with that bottle of wine.

Mitchell's VM attempt on a Tab international was luckily prevented by heroic banter on the part of that Tom Norton. Some say Tom M went downhill from there, resorting to a Park End encounter with a 'past acquaintance' of his Somerville namesake. Continued on page 2

BUSA 2000

report by Ian Cumpstey It was a bit of a pharce. If you want to know what happened you should have been there. Good. See ya.


At that same TAB Sprint-O our girl Kate developed closer international relations with a certain top Short Race orienteer. Furthering her French Liaison soon proved troublesome for Urch whose allure was obviously too much for this runner. Much to the shock of students worldwide our girl turned down the free meals. Anyone who believes that she caused his nervous twitch should be reminded of the rumour that this happened when he was knocked over by Fat Tom a year earlier.


was to be held on the large Youlbury estate on 27 May (mapped at 1:5000). Resident scout campers are however ensuring that a new area must be found. Wherever it ends up tips for the top are tricky at this stage. The Men's field seem mostly injured but CATI-planner CATmur should have no problems in the Women's. Mind you, last year an overweight Marine proved that whilst 'Prior Preparation & Planning Prevent Piss-Poor Performance' it still couldn't guarantee a win.


THE TOOLER says good-bye and good riddance (not really)

Pauline Sinclair
Pauline leaves the club this year after 253 years of service. Past newsletters made great mention of her Rohan fetish and it is sad to add to the archives that she still appears to be without Mr. Rohan. Pauline held the Information Officer post whenever she could and also became Treasurer one year despite her red socks. Her future in orienteering is a bit of a JOKe. "Research just out shows that there is a distinct possibility that lack of height really does allow women to orienteer faster"
Christine Ashton
She thinks she's leaving but apparently the Committee have other plans. Narrowly having avoided in the 1997 AGM being physically changed into a man called Chris (by 1 vote), Christine also managed to become Secretary despite fierce opposition from her Panda (who won two votes). Christine also managed President, Treasurer and Training Officer (for which she was chosen by Cuzza before she even reached Oxford) despite her height. We hope SOC make as good use of her and that married life is not too dull.
Nailest (sometimes mis-read as Andy Macleod)
The Boy proved highly important in the holding of such positions as Chunder Rep and OCCO President. His motions have kept many an AGM from the bar far beyond the tour of duty whilst his personal defence of the Sunday Pub Session has been heroic. Rumours that he is going to TABland can happily been laid to rest - he was too cool for them.


After losing the talents of Nicky King to the boatie crowd some years ago, there was initial disappointment when her little sister Ruth joined OUOC to begin rowing. However it appears that the gene has mutated for Ruth has seemingly escaped. Hearty congratulations. Meanwhile evidence that Guy was ever an orienteer is rapidly becoming harder and harder for our reporters to trace.


Keep your eyes peeled for once President Dave D who has apparently ended his protest at the amount of free time Physicists have for orienteering. His self-imposed light-starvation has left him a little scarred but reports are that he's on track for a full recovery.


On tour une deuzieme fois to the Czech Republic this year. Tim kindly turns to tour management, apparently saving his brain from full computerisation. Cumpstey Snr's clearly looking forward to visiting his hareem whilst his little bro seemed to find it nice and easy to sleep there.


For screaming along to heavy metal guitarists. Contact Luke 'Iron Maiden' or TBN.


Continued from Front Page Mention should be made of Tom Mıs other Varsity exploit. A return visit to new OUOC member Ruth proves the old adage that history repeats itself and this incident probably reminded the happy couple of earlier days. We wish them well for the future.


all names and stories on this paper are entirely non-fictional and regret is expressed by the editor if anyone has avoided humiliation.