I know, I'm sorry, the photocopier ran out of ink, we couldn't find a photocopier, the wordprocessor was down, I can't find enough envelopes to to write all these copies on when they've each got eight mind-blowing, world-view-expanding, ideologically sound but exciting too... umm... stories in...
Yes, I'm sorry, so sorry, I know I talk too much, please accept my apol-
YOU HAVEN'T INCLUDED MY FAVOURITE STORIES. ANY OF THEM.
Well you see that's because the editor's tastes may differ ever so slightly from... and anyway, we wanted to include both well-known and not so well-known authors... a representative selection of fifteen issues and eighteen years of great achievement... issue 4 (new series) now on sale... no, please, not the leeches! Aaagh!
BUT I MIGHT HAVE FORGIVEN YOU THAT. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS THAT SEALED YOUR FATE FOR ALL ETERNITY?
Ah... you checked the originals for one of the promotional quotes?
YOU DIDN'T REPUBLISH MY STORY! DID YOU??
Umm... Oh, yes, must have lost it in the back fi-
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?
Ah, we're always ready to accept new submissions for the new series, no need to be a member of Oxford University past or present, just send them to the edit-huch, ugg, oog...
DON'T WORRY, I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR HEAD BACK WHEN YOU NEED IT. JUST WAVE YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU'VE THOUGHT OF SOMETHING USEFUL TO SAY. OH, YOU HAVE. WELL, THEN...
Have you noticed that all the unpublished authors in this collection have names starting with the letter `r', the same letter as rejection. It has to mean somethi... no, not the cheese grater, I'm begging you...