ZOOL III : The Conspectus Episode 2 by Colin Wilkinson "Well, what of you think of that? " asked Molin-Cax. "Authors," announced Clute "ought to be aware of the canons of their genre." "What?" Molin spat out a long stream of chewing tobacco. "With the onset of the ontological millennium, these Genisis-ades1 should be limited to post-modern introductions, although there is of course scope for re-insertion of characters at a later date." Clute was, as usual, being obscure. At least he had established that the future of Zool death planet where the intractable renegades of 10,000 worlds etc. was to be a hackneyed Space Opera and not a sub-Pratchettesque parody, Clute disappeared up his own thesaurus. Molin lit one of his evil smelling cigars. The match briefly lit his gnarled features. The clientele of the Lie Berry Inn had changed over the years, but plots rarely did. The thought of having to interact with a Hobbit had filled him with disgust. Two familiar figures entered the room. It was The Beard and the Tall Lanky Penguin. They walked/waddled over to the bar. "Where's the key?" asked The Beard. " I don't have it." replied Molin. "You must have. We gave it to you only an hour ago." "Yes, but I gave it to The Brotherhood Of Man. Like you said." "You fool! I told you to give it only to Brother Mann, you know that monkish fellow." "Oh no, you don't mean_" "Yes, you've given it to a crap seventies' band!!!!!!!" "Oh my Giddy Aunt. There's only one person on the entire planet who can possibly save us!" "Yes, we have to find Glamourous Galactic Agent Marina MacDonald." __________________________________________________________________________ ____ At the table by the door there were two men, both clad entirely in black, deep in conversation: "So, when's it due?" "Who can say? Maybe this year, maybe next." "If not when, then how many?" "One. I don't think two is likely, and the thought of more is absurd." "You're right of course. Listen I heard a rumour that one arrived last year. I know it's not true, after all_" "Someone would have noticed. You can't hide something that big." "There's no way we can make a profit with this amount of uncertainty, unless_ unless_" "What?" "Why don't we open a book on its arrival. We'll make a killing." "Great idea. Can I get you another?" __________________________________________________________________________ ____ The lights dimmed and a drum roll announced the arrival of that night's cabaret. The far end of the bar had a small stage and onto this, a tall, long legged blonde climbed. She was stark naked except for stockings and suspenders. And shoes, panties and bra. And a long skirt, tee-shirt, thick blouse, cardigan, duffle-coat, scarf , beret and mirrorshades. She began to sing. The audience fell silent. They listened in reverential silence as the act progressed. Suddenly, an unnoticed stranger stood up and walked towards the stage, reached into a pocket and produced a long slender object. In the darkness it was impossible to tell what it was. The singer looked at the stranger with a look of sheer terror. __________________________________________________________________________ ____ What has the singer seen? Who is the stranger? Could it be Marina? Who are the Men in Black and what are they discussing? Are the Brotherhood of Man sinister? Could they be GLAM operatives? Why has the Penguin remained silent? What is the significance of the key? Why did Molin make such a dumb mistake? Why are many of the characters non-gender specific?? 11 See Tringham, Towlson et al. (2145) "Tropes, allotropes and homotropism in everyday usage."