Chapter VIII - The Construction of Fallen Tsars

			     by Philip J Gardner


	The Zool project was a nightmare given form. A barren and desolate
world located in neutral territory. A place of squallor and depravity for
a quarter of a million convicts, the scum of the universe. A rancid pussball
in space, all alone in the night. This is the story of the last of the great
Zool wars. The year is 5822, the name of the place is Zool. Death planet
where the intractable criminals of ten thousand worlds...etc.

				*	*	*

	The giant space station Sumer 6 rotated gently in the dark vacuum of
space. Deep within it's bowels in a hidden chamber sat the Don King at his
ancient mahogany desk, surrounded by thousands of old books and manuscripts.
He knew the contents of every one of them, and more. He alone in the universe
knew the truth about Zool, the terrible truth.
	Captain Oliver Chippendale stepped dramatically out of the shadows and
approached the desk. He looked upon the Don King's ceremonial gown, which he
always wore, and obscured every part of him. No-one had ever seen what he
truely looked like. Finally the Don King spoke.
	"We must talk, Captain. A great terror is about to arise from the
mists of time. The hour of Zool approaches."
	Chippendale blanched at the name of Zool.
	"What must be done?"
	"A great number of our forces, and those of the colleges and other
interested parties were destroyed by Unicron close to Zool. Since when it
has disappeared, simplifying a plot line. But there were survivors. You
must seek them out first. Begin by searching the planets close to Zool.
Use the great military experience you gained in the war against the Atari.
Now go quickly."
	"But how will I get there? Do you expect me to walk?"
	"No, Captain, I expect you to fly!"
	"I think you're confusing your characters. Anyway, who will buy this
mission?"
	"The Atari will. Take their ship the Black Hole and go with all speed.
But heed my warning, do not land on the surface of Zool. Remember your destiny,
Captain. If you go to Zool, you will die."

				*	*	*

	Captain Chippendale, commander of Sumer 6, strode onto the bridge of
the Black Hole and began to rant at his human and Atari crew.
	"Right men. I may not be much of an actor but I can really do over
the top speeches. We have a mission and we're going to do it well or I'll
blast you all to atoms. Or probably nuke you. So let's get out there, save
the galaxy and kick evil's butt from here to Andromeda. Today we celebrate
our Indep... er, wrong reference."
	The Captain's officers, Commander Bendova and Mike Bourbon came
dramatically out of the shadows and took up their positions on the bridge.
The ship slid effortlessly out of dock and made the jump to hyperspace.
	"Bendova!" barked Chippendale
	"Yes sir!"
	"Oh, get up. Now how long before we reach Zool?"
	"Six hours, sir."
	"That long? What a heap of junk this ship is."
	That was quite true. The Atari were not an enlightened race and in
their war with Earth had surrendered just before the human race wiped out
their home planet, like the chickens that they were.
	"If anyone wants me, I'll be in my cabin." snapped the Captain, and left.

				*	*	*

	The mis-matched band of adventurers - Zap, Benedict, Bhond and the
Crimson Binome, together with his assistant, walked dejectedly up the huge
deserted thoroughfare of St. Giles. This was the third time they had had to
participate in the game of zOoL. The game was located in a perfect recreaction
of the city of Oxford, just before it's destruction. They seemed to be the only
people present, and none had any idea how to win the game. It seemed to just end
and begin again over and over. There was nothing they could do and they were
tired and frustrated. Only Bhond was at all excited as he proudly presented to
them the home of his forefathers, St John's College, perfectly created in this
unreal world.

				*	*	*

	"Enter."
	Captain Chippendale came through the opened door, and into his Commander's
quarters.
	"You wanted to see me, Bendova?"
	"Yes sir, and no I won't. I know the great challenges to come that you
face, and I have attempted to assist you. I have summoned a great ancestor of
mine, whose knowledge will be invaluable to you."
	A man, his face lined and wrinkled with many years made yet another
dramatic appearance from out of the shadows.
	"Greetings, Captain", he said "Consider yourself fortunate that I should
come at this time. For I am Nicholas II, last Tsar of Russia."
	"But that's impossible."
	"I am older than I look. I am one of the Original Ones, of which your
people know little, if anything."
	"Why are you here?"
	"Mainly to explain the chapter title, but also to give you a dire
warning from a higher source that you must heed."
	"And what is your warning?"
	"If you go to Zool, you will die."
	"I've been told that already."
	"Oh, well then I'm not needed here." replied Tsar Nicholas II, and
instantly vanished. Before Chippendale had time to react, his hand started
beeping at him. He answered it. It was his Security Chief Mike Bourbon, a
man who was desparately trying to make his hairline recede further in order
to look more like Bruce Willis.
	"You'd better get up here, Captain." he said. "We've just arrived
in Zool's solar system."

				*	*	*

	The Captain once more dramatically came out of the shadows and back
onto the bridge. The Black Hole had moved into orbit around Zool and Bendova
was examining a console as the ship scanned the planet.
	"Life signs, Bendova?"
	"I already am, sir. Anyway this is incredible, impossible!"
	"The impossible is my business, Commander. What is it?"
	"There seem to be some faint signs, Captain. But they're not on the
surface, they're deep within the planet. Almost... at Zool's core."
	Chippendale strode up and down the bridge for a few seconds, reviewing
the situation. Finally he spoke.
	"Take her down, Commander."
	"What?"
	"You heard me. Land this ship on Zool."
	"But, sir, if you go to Zool..."
	"I know. Now do it. And arm the nuclear warheads I brought along just
in case. That's an order."
	Bourbon sat at the back, astonished by his captain's decision.
	"He's gone crazy." he thought "The PsiCorps must have got to him."
	"No we haven't" said the voice inside his head.
	"Oh, that's all right then."

				*	*	*

	The Black Hole hurtled planetwards, entering the thin gravity of Zool.
On board, panic was starting to break out.
	"She's out of control, Captain!" yelled Bendova. "We've lost propulsion
and guidance jets. The whole ships just falling apart. We're going to crash!"
	"Something built by the Atari, crash? Never!" replied Chippendale.
	But it did. The ship ploughed into the barren surface of Zool and
triggered the armed nuclear bombs carried on its underbelly. The resulting
fireball vapourised the ship and its contents and sent massive shockwaves right
across the planet, shockwaves which even penetrated far deep into Zool.

				*	*	*

	"It's a quake!" yelled Bhond in terror as the High Street began to shake
wildly beneath him. "Everyone get down!" Turning, he saw in the distance the tall
structure of Carfax tower slowly wobble, then with an almighty crash topple on to
the crossroads below. The sky darkened above and the roads began to crack.
	"No!" screamed Bhond "It's the End. The destruction of Oxford is happening
again, just as the old stories told it." A thought then occured to him. "Back to
Magdalen." he called to the others. "It was one of the four that survived the End,
so they say. It's our last, best hope." With that the companions turned and hared
off down the rapidly disintegrating High Street.

				*	*	*

	"Stop fuckin' shaking the town, Dr Gonzo." I said, opening another bottle
of GIN. "Put it down."
	My attorney reluctantly laid down the perfect Lego reproduction of the
infamous old English city of Oxford, and turned back to stuffing his face with
junk food.
	"Glorious food." he muttered for no reason. We'd had enough of Reason for
one day, I reckoned. I finished the GIN and turned back to Sally, who was staring
down at her now somewhat dilapidated creation.
	"I'm bored with this game." she said, picking up four of the Lego colleges
at random. "Let's play something else."