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Quiz Goggles n. An affliction suffered by regular question setters, who cannot read a book or watch a television programme without looking for possible question subjects. An obvious symptom is the frequent utterance of "That would make a good question…". This has a different meaning elsewhere, that political correctness has suppressed in Oxford. Quiz Machine n. A cash-dispensing machine provided by philanthropic landlords of pubs to redistribute money from punters (q.v.) to the Quizocracy (q.v.), in accordance with the principles of the quizocratic doctrine. Incompetent programming sometimes causes them to malfunction by asking a question that hasn't been memorised, or by giving money away to punters. See also "Stainered". Quizocracy n. 1. Those people marked out as superior to the rest of the population by their skill at quizzing. The term was coined by Ian Bayley, who believes himself to be their leader. 2. A principle (the "Quizocratic Doctrine") governing the operation of quiz machines, often expressed as "From each according to his cockiness, to each according to his quiz." This was adapted by Ian Bayley from the writings of Points, a close associate of Marks. QuizOx n. Informal term for the Oxford Inter-Collegiate Quiz (q.v.) Quiz Widow n. The partner of a quizzer who has to compete with the buzzer system for their affections. Quizzle The Society's favourite online game (which can be found here). Every weekend we dream up a series of questions with an anagram to finish. The game is apparently quite easy, but has this nasty habit of confounding rather good quizzers. It also has a nasty habit of going several months without update, while the webmaster suffers an inspiration deficiency. Recognition n. Identifying the player who has buzzed before they answer a starter question. A universal practice in the UK, but rare in the US. Can be very useful, especially for those with ludicrously long names, as a bit of extra thinking time, leading to thoughts by some of changing their name to Mr / Mrs Heresabitmoretimetothinkaboutheanswer. Robinson, Anne The host of BBC's Weakest Link (q.v.). Previously famous for Watchdog and her immortal wink, and now famous for unrestrained cruelty to contestants who are trying their best. From Daily Telegraph, October 30, 2000: "The Weakest Link: Patronising quiz with Anne Robinson doing a poor imitation of Hannibal Lecter as host." Oooh, miaow! Rushdie, Salman Newly de-fatwaed novelist. "I'd rather do her than Salman Rushdie": Roderick Kennedy, Christ Church captain, on the aesthetic qualities of a female novelist. Only in Christ Church, never in context. (Editor's note: It's not clear what Mr Kennedy was trying to achieve by this remark, but rumour has it that it may be related to his earlier utterance "Winning University Challenge will keep us in shags for the whole year." This fascination with cormorants is a whole another matter…) Sauerkraut n. 1. A German dish of chopped pickled cabbage. 2. The subject of the question that cost Rob Linham £500 on Win Beadle's Money (q.v.). In response to the question "What is the dish sauerkraut made from?", he bizarrely answered "red cabbage", which was disallowed after a few retakes on the grounds that only references to white cabbage could be found in reference books. 3. By extension, any grievance on which Rob Linham blames his copious quiz defeats, and raises at every possible opportunity (often heard as in "You're not going on about that bloody sauerkraut again, are you?"). See also "Kaliningrad". Stainered adj. 1. (of a quiz machine (q.v.)) Played on by David Stainer, and therefore devoid of all known value: e.g. "Don't play that machine, it's been Stainered!" 2. (very derog.) (of a former girlfriend of David Stainer) See 1. Sadly. Standard Quiz Knowledge n. Information common to anyone with even a passing interest in quizzing. Often synonymous with chestnut (q.v.), it appears far too often in pub quizzes, and will be greeted with a cheery cry of "SQK!". Stewart, William G The host of Channel 4's Fifteen-to-One (q.v.), although by trade really a television producer. Famous in quiz circles for his stern delivery, and lines including "Five down, ten to go. Laura please!". Also one of the team behind the excellent and much missed game show Wanted. Not a lot of people know that. Swerve n. 1. An abrupt change of direction. A frequent feature of Rob Linham's driving. 2. (Also "hose", "angle") A question that begins as if apparently on one subject, then deviates suddenly and unexpectedly near the end to a completely different answer. A supremely evil feature of bad question setting, sadly prevalent in University Challenge (q.v.). For a rather self-referential example of the fault, see the "Quiz About Quiz" questions. Syndicate, The n. BBC1 quiz show, hosted by granny's favourite, Nick Ross. Teams gain and lose their players as well as their points, which is entertaining but rather pointlessly cruel at times. Mr Ross' attempts at cultivating a tougher image with the catchphrase "Understand?!" (followed by a glare) are not currently getting very far. Thundercats n. British children's television animation, in which a bunch of super-powered felines try to save the world / humanity / each other / (insert your corny script here). A programme that Jack Waley-Cohen obviously spends too much time watching (he even owns the video), judging by the number of questions he sets on its plot lines (something to do with one of them saving the others using his power to talk to the animals… or something…) Toss-Up n. The American term for a starter question. They are apparently blissfully unaware of any double meaning associated with this, not least when a "power toss-up" (q.v.) is in question. After careful consideration, here in Britain we decided not to use the term "jerk-off" in a spirit of reciprocity, and have mercifully stuck with this policy ever since. TRASH n. (acronym) Testing Recall About Strange Happenings. A type of tournament started in America, using the bits discarded as too worthless by other tournaments. Participants positively revel in their command of popular culture (q.v.) and Dirty Knowledge (q.v.). The filthy tide of TRASH is slowly polluting the British quiz scene. Trashmaster n. A player who has a ridiculously good command of all areas of popular culture, no matter how trivial or pointless; this knowledge is often at the expense of anything either vaguely cultured or useful. Trashmasters are proud of their knowledge; those less impressed deride them as Philistines (q.v.). UMRA n. (acronym) uk.media.radio.archers. A newsgroup pretending to discuss matters relating to "The Archers", a BBC Radio serial, but that often veers off-topic and into quizzing, due mainly to the high proportion of quizzers among its contributors. Reputedly the nicest corner of cyberspace. University Challenge n. BBC2 television programme, based on the American College Bowl format of quizzes, with starter questions worth 10 points, and three bonus questions for a further 15. It began on ITV in 1962, hosted by Bamber Gascoigne, who also wrote many of the questions. It was stopped in 1987, coincidentally after two Oxford wins in a row. It restarted in 1994 on BBC2, though it was still produced by Granada Television, with Jeremy Paxman (q.v.) as its new presenter. [Visit the unofficial web site] See also "Young Ones, The". Varsity n. / adj. Although correctly applied to any form of match or competition involving universities, used particularly for an annual fixture between Oxford and Cambridge Universities. [Visit the web page] Weakest Link, The n. Anne Robinson (q.v) turns nasty on early evening television. Shown every evening on BBC2, this quiz show asks quizzers to victimise their team mates. No change there then. Think of a cross between Fifteen-to-One and Big Brother, with decent prize money and hosted by the headmistress from hell, and you're getting there. The success of the series has led to the establishment of a champions series on prime time BBC1, and a charity celebrity version as well. Whiteley, Richard The host of Channel 4's Countdown (q.v.), who has a larger collection of jackets and ties made from old deckchairs than is generally considered healthy. Win Beadle's Money n. Newish quiz show on Channel 5, which culminates with one lucky (?) contestant getting the chance to play against Jeremy Beadle (q.v.) to win up to £1000 of his money. It has so far proved a very profitable enterprise for various members of the Society. See also "Sauerkraut". Woodchuck n. 1. North American marmot, with heavy body and short legs. 2. Subject of a now infamous question at the British Quiz Championships (q.v.) to which the answer was "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?". The question doesn't bear repeating. Young Ones, The n. Anarchic British television comedy, featuring four students and some lentils. Once famously spoofed University Challenge, a fact that is only mentioned here in order to keep the Maryland lexicon reviewers off our backs. Ytterby n. The town which gives its name to the 39th, 65th, 68th and 70th elements in the Periodic Table. Probably the only centre of quiz pilgrimage in the world; only Ian Bayley has been mad enough to go there. The devotion can only increase after this very fact came up as a question in the 1999 Varsity Match against Cambridge. Cambridge got it. Rats.

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