ICON Oxford University Role Playing Games Society
Johnny Vlarg Turn 3


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PLAN ONE - SINCERE APOLOGY TO BARENOR {1 point}
A whole planet blown away.  That's really... bad.  And all because the
intergalactic bad guys wanted to get at me.  I can see why those people
are angry and upset - I can't blame them, even though it wasn't me that
blew their planet up, I was still involved.  I should apologise for the
trouble that I didn't exactly cause, but was sort-of influential in.  Yeah
- I'll write an open and truthful apology to the citizens of Barenor.
Hmm. Let's see.  I think it should go something like this...

"Dear Governor and remaining Citizens of Barenor,
	I feel I must alologise for the series of enormous nuclear
explosions that have so damaged your planet.  It wasn't me that caused
them, and I really did do the best I could with the time and information I
was given, but in this case, that wasn't good enough, and I am sorry for
that.  I am especially sorry because this business wasn't about you - it
was between the bad guys and me.  They hurt you because they knew I can't
stand seeing innocent citizens suffer - and so it was only because I care
about your people that you got blown up.
	Even though, as I said, I didn't make the explosions happen, I
know you hold me responsible for this accident.  It wasn't my fault and I
did try really hard to stop it - but my name is remains defaced, just as
many of you are with raditation poisoning, and I know I must prove my
innocense to you and to the galaxy, so that all the citizens can sleep
easy knowing that I was the good guy all along.  I only know one way to do
this - I will catch the bad people that did this and bring them to
justice.  And then they will apologise for what  they have done, and
probably be punished too.
	Remember this always - you have the consolation that your fellows
died not in some bizarre accident, but as heroes - casualties of that
great war between the good guys and the bad guys.  And they were on the
side of the good guys.

			Yours sincerely

			Johnny Vlarg.

P.S.  Your people will rise like a phoenix from the ashes - and when you
do get around to rebuilding your civilisation, it might be a good idea to
use a safer and more reliable energy source, as a mark of respect."

I don't know whether that will make up for what has happened, but the
apology is important.  It's the priciple that counts.

PLAN TWO - FIND THE BAD GUYS AND BRING THEM TO JUSTICE {4 points}
So - this "Interplanetary Criminal Syndicate" exploded an entire, innocent
planet just to get to me, did they?  Well, they've got my attention - I
just hope they're ready for it.  I'm going to find out who's
responsible, then I'm going to find clues that will lead me to where they
are and then I'm going to beat them up, and lock them up, and throw away
the key.  And make them apologise, too.  It's wrong that they're saying
this is my fault - it was because of me, partly, but I didn't do anything
bad, so it can't be my fault.  Bad things happen because bad people do
them.  Except sometimes they happen as accidents as well, but it's usually
bad guys who are involved somewhere.
	Still, it's like I said in the apology - there are still people
around who might believe this is my fault, and I need to clear my name.
The only way to do that is to catch these baddies and see to it they
apologise and are punished.  It's no good having a really good and
reputable spandex company if people think you're guilty of the murder of
an entire planet.  Of course, I'll need resources to help me look, and
I'll do what Solomon advises about business stuff - but most of all I want
to catch these baddies, and quickly.
	When I heard why what has happened happened, I thought about
giving up - maybe people would be better off.  But then I realised that
that would mean that the bad guys would get away with it.  And not just
this time either, but every time.  Well, most times.  Somebody has to
protect good people, as long as there are baddies that can do this sort of
thing.  They cannot - they will not go unpunished.  I'm even more
determined than before that I'm going to fight for the good guys as long
as I can.  Especially now I'm more tough and stuff.   It doens't matter
whether you're an invading galactic alien empire, or a psychotic criminal
hell-bent on destruction, blowing up planets is WRONG, AND SOMEBODY IS
GOING TO PAY!!!

[Hope that's all okay - think it's pretty self-explanatory!  Many thanks,
as always, Dave.]