ICON Oxford University Role Playing Games Society
Johnny Vlarg Turn 6


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PLAN ONE - GET AN UNLIKELY ALTER-EGO {1 point}
So, it seems I'm a wanted man - and some people even think I'm the bad
guy!  I need somewhere to hide out while the heat cools off.  In fact, I
think it's better if I'm not even me!   I have to make sure nobody
recognises me, so that I am free to assert my innocence!  I can't afford
to be locked up, when there are bad people out there doing bad things,
even if the people that want to lock me up ARE the good guys.  I'll think
of a character that nobody would think was me.  Yeah, I've got it.  I'll
get out of my lycra, and part my hair on the other side, and wear glasses,
and then nobody will recognise me!  Cool.  I'll need a job, though, and
hopefully one where I can influence people, into thinking that I'm not the
bad guy after all.  Hmm....
	I've got it!  I'll join the Funky Banana's band!  That way, I can
do lots of rock-star things, and write protest songs, telling people to be
good to each other!  Yeah.  Instead of lycra, I'll wear really tight
leather, and maybe some rubber trousers.  And I'll wear shades, like, ALL
the time - and I'll act like a serious heavy metal rap artiste.  I'll call
myself something catchy like the Rebel Mint Choccychip, and swear and
stuff.  It won't be a good role model, but it's a short term solution -
nobody will think I can swear and drink and do rock star things - in fact,
they won't even associate it with me - so I suppose the end justifies the
means, or something.  And then I can write cool protest rap metal songs
like "Johnny Vlarg is innocent (motherfucker)", and act in an unnatural
and repellent way, until the pressure has died down.  I'll hide out, and
go out secretly as Johnny Vlarg, until my name is clear.  I used to play a
mean vibroharp - I wonder if I can remember any of it?

PLAN TWO - ASSERT MY INNOCENCE, OFFER TO HELP THE C.C.F. {2 points}
I can tell that my rockstar alter-ego is going to have a negative impact
on the kids, therefore I have to clear my name and get back to normal as
soon as possible.  I suppose I should go about making the fact I'm a good
guy as clear as possible, to lots of people.  A good place to start would
be to send an open letter to all the media and law enforcement people,
asserting my total innocence.  It should go something like...

"Last month, a famous real-life superhero was locked up on Grangor for a
crime he didn't commit.  This man promptly escaped from a maximum security
stockade (pausing only to rescue his captors from an assault by the Dark
Legion) into the intergalactic underground, where he survives as a soldier
of goodness, seeking to clear his name.  If you're in trouble, and you
need help, and if you can find him, maybe you can call Johnny Vlarg"

Or something like that.  People need to know that I was locked up by
accident, and that I haven't done anything wrong.  I also need to convince
the C.C.F. that they apprehended the wrong guy, and that I'm a good guy,
like them.  The people who were holding me didn't seem to understand, so I
should talk to someone a bit higher up, who might realise that we're on
the same side.  Commodore Nimyek has now been promoted to Admiral, so
perhaps she can tell them to stop trying to lock me up!  I'll have to find
her on her own, though, so I have to beat up as few guards as possible -
people don't seem to like it when they need to replace their bodyguards
after you've visited - especially if it's a friendly visit - that's
downright rude!  So I'll fly in when I'm not expected, when we will have
time to talk, and reason with her.  I'll explain all about how there are
good guys and bad guys, and how I'm a good guy - I'll answer all her
questions, because I have no secrets (apart the one about being a rock
star on the quiet - I won't tell her about that).  I'll even offer to help
the C.C..F. - I can see they're the good guys, and that they're the only
thing in the way of the Hel-Zhan invasion thing, and the New Empire, and
this big voration thing and loads of other bad stuff. Well, them and me,
so we're on the same side, and should work together.  I'll tell Nimyek I
don't mind answering all the C.C.F.'s questions, and things, but that next
time they should just ask first, because kidnapping people is wrong.  The
only thing I want in return is an official statement from the C.C.F.,
apologising to me, and acknowledging that I am a good guy, and that they
got it wrong.  I hope Nimyek will understand, as a fellow goodie in a
universe of baddies.  I mean, would a baddie look THIS attractive in
lycra?  She's a female carbon-based lifeform after all, and so she can
follow her heart.  Or her underwear.  Whatever it takes, my name must be
cleared of iniquity.

PLAN THREE - GET A NEW HAND.  PRACTISE PRACTISE AND PRACTISE AGAIN {1 point}
There's something wrong with the bionic hand Solomon got me!  I need to
get a new one, and a really really good one with sturdy workmanship, so
that I don't have to be let down again in the fight against the bad guys!
Obviously, I have to be careful with endorsement deals while I'm still an
outlaw, as the companies that go for that image might not be the ones I
would like to endorse.  But I'm sure it can be sorted out.  I won't
endorse the company that made the hand before, though, as they're just not
reliable.  My new hand has to be at least as good as new - better if
anything, and really strong, with lots of cool gadgets.  Perhaps if I
confiscated some stuff from the New Empire, someone would be prepared to
swap it!  Who can say.  I need that hand, though.  Without it, I only have
one hand left to fight the baddies with!
	I need to improve at fighting the baddies, too.  Each time I have
fought Nemesis, he has had the upper hand, and if I have to confront him,
I must win, to protect all the innocent people he might do in, and avenge
my family.  To do this, I need to control my anger.  It's true that dark
thoughts are very powerful, but in the end they control you and make you
unbalanced... it was a rush of anger that made me lose my hand.  I need to
channel my positive thoughts into my fighting, and learn to control
thoughts, so I remain focused.  Otherwise, I might start to do bad things
in my anger, and that would make me a bad person.  I don't want to be
drawn to the dark side of my thoughts.  I don't want to sink to the level
of a baddie like nemesis.  So I will train hard, but keep my fear and
anger at bay.  I am a good guy, I have to fight like a good guy.  I have
to focus my positive fighting energy!

PLAN FOUR - GET THE GIRL! {1 point}
>From what I can make out, the Ambassador Tae Loquelis Ikzara is one foxy
chick, with a whole bunch of fun toys.  If I get the chance, I might start
hanging around her, in case, by a stroke of luck, she might need rescuing,
or something.  I could hang with a babe like that, just so long as she
doen't start getting above herself, or anything.  It's just selfish not to
share myself with these lonely citizens (especially the fit ones) who
don't know what they're missing.  Maybe one day I'll find one who deserves
me, but in the meantime, a fit chick is a fit chick, and a lycra-clad
superhero is the experience of a lifetime.

[right - thought it was about time to excercise the last couple of lines
of my character background!  Anyway, hope that's all okay, and makes sense
and stuff.  My brain is slightly addled at the moment!  many thanks, D.]