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Netflyer 33


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Uncle Luluís Nocturne Advice Column

In a place as fraught with danger as the lands of Nocturne, you have to know that the people you are with can be relied on to get your back in those moments of sudden crisis (and ideally not with a knife between the shoulder blades). And so, here in a special edition for the benefit of Nightflyer readers everywhere, the Outpost Postís own Agony-Person-of-Unspecified-Gender, Lulu, provides information on a few of the types you may meet (and try to avoid) around Outpost:

Ratmen - While there is a current trend that says they make cute pets, these critters have an unfortunate tendency to gnaw on anything bone-like they may encounter. Itís always embarrassing trying to comfort a heartbroken Nocturne inhabitant whoís just had half their family slaughtered by ravening monsters when some of the party members are trying to eat the family members in question.
On top of that, if they donít encounter anything suitable, you could be next on their list.

"Talak the Almighty" - I use this name to represent the generic type. This well-travelled warrior has done everything in the Adventurerís Handbook at least twice, and he wants to tell you about it. Loudly. Usually somewhere less than helpful, like the middle of an Orc-infested forest. At first he may seem impressive, with his tales of high adventure and world-changing deeds, but after a while itíll become clear that he has three main topics of conversation:

  1. Himself.
  2. His trusty battle-axe.
  3. How much larger his axe is than anyone elseís.
One point in his favour: he will make great cannon fodder, providing you can convince him that bards will sing his praises eternally and that fair maidens will swoon at the very mention of his name.

The "independent adventurer" - While very keen to tell you the failings of Guilds and the advantages of working solo, it will eventually become plain that this person has in fact been turned away from every Guild in the city. A short way into your journey, heíll start to look around thoughtfully, and eventually suggest that since itís a dangerous area youíd be sensible to put all your valuables into his extremely secure money-belt, to keep it safe. (If you fall for this one, you shouldnít be going into Nocturne in the first place).

The "FLRP Organiser" - This highly suspicious breed should be avoided as a travelling companion at all costs, if only because they have a tendency to eat all the partyís rations within the first fifteen minutes of any adventure. Watch out for them - one may sneak into your party without anyone really noticing.

Next on Uncle Luluís Agony Column: How to get free entry to Marathaís Pleasure Emporium, the most popular night-club in the city of Outpost.
Eleanor Orebi Gann