July issue of Good Evening!

by Ubiquity

What more exciting and enthralling way to spend an evening than visiting a Conclave in Southampton! Who better to depend on for action and much to talk about than the bold Gregor! And he didn’t disappoint, did he? Giving us Anarchs, magical fireworks, arguments, and just that little spice that comes from high level disagreement - but I get ahead of myself, darling – let’s take it one ‘incident’ at a time.

It seems the Oxford Chantry will be treated to the sound of the pattering of little feet! Grifon de Moy has found himself a Childe! Not his own of course, but one that’s been ‘borrowed’ from the dashing Alvito Rodriguez Navarre. Royal Primogen de Moy has agreed to foster the simply delicious Alina Cheslova Markova, freshly arrived from Vienna. Apparently the darling Alina is too talented for Mr Navarre to take care of her tuition personally, so has turned to the redoutable genius of de Moy. Lets all give her a wonderful welcome to Wessex, and not let her get stuck away in that stuffy old Chantry all the time!

Poor Marion de Silver didn’t really look her best in Southampton, did she? Usually such a perky girl, events really seemed to be getting on top of her. Perhaps it was out of concern for her general well being that the Royal Primogen decided to take her away from the hustle and bustle of the meeting and have a private word about a few things. Well, it’s so important to have friends when you are in an import and powerful position such as Prince. Shame they all had such serious faces, I’m sure she was hoping for a bit of a joke and a lark, but it was almost as if she was getting a little ticking off about something. But then, as we all know, well respected and competent Princes never receive criticism from the Royal Primogen!

So nice to have visitors to Wessex - there do seem to be rather more Brujah milling around than usual. The poor chaps and chapessess are left without a home to go to after been given the heave-ho by London. Oh well, perhaps they’ll provide good company for darling Robert Guisgard who has been looking a little lost and lonely recently. Why his Royal Primogen pals haven’t been ‘hanging out’ (as I believe they say on what I believe they call ‘the street’ these days) with him so much recently is anybody’s guess. I mean, representing such a noble, thoughtful, intelligent, resourceful, competent, well-meaning, tactful, politic and overall friendly clan as he does, you would think they’d be overjoyed at the chance to spend time with him.

You’ll never guess what - that man Lee Alexander is chasing the ladies again! It seems he was so pleased with the way Elizabeth received his last little prize winning Haiku that he’s been making up a few more, just for her! My spies tell me he was heard delicately murmuring the following into Elizabeth’s delectable ear at the last conclave:

Why must names limit?
Far better not to be bound
to but one favour.

But whatever can it mean? Well, your beloved author had to scratch his head a little about this, I can tell you! Like many great works of art, the layman can only fully appreciate it after a little explanation ... so permit me to expound. You see it’s all about names. The word ‘favour’ is of course used in one of its more obscure senses 'That which conciliates affection or goodwill; attractiveness, comeliness, beauty; an attraction, charm', according to my little book. Could it perhaps be that the ‘one favour’ is a reference to Grace, perhaps indicating the thought that she may be limited to the single favour of her name? Now, who do we know that by comparison has a name that suggests many favours? Well, Elizabeth is of course a Queen’s name, and it might be said that Queens hold all the favours!

Certainly a charming little piece to whisper to Elizabeth, although rumour has it she has yet to acknowledge his most strenuous efforts to attract her attention. Perhaps she doesn’t want to risk upsetting her sister!

But one wonders why if Mr Alexander considers Grace so lacking in favours that he was seen escorting her away at the end of the evening! Perhaps he feels sorry for poor Grace, and hasn’t the heart to tell her himself that he has become so charmed by her wonderful older sister! No matter Gracey love, I’m sure you’ll find a man for yourself soon!

Don’t go down to the woods today, darlings! Apparently those pesky little Garou are a wee bit miffed at us Wessex Kindred! Can’t think why, perhaps they are envious of our dress sense! (If the sophistication of these words reaches the depths of woodland where they play, here’s a little piece of advice for you, my husky friends: Grunge is so very, very out darlings! We can’t spend all our lives looking like newly dug up road protesters, now, can we?) Well, a little bird tells me that they were a little ticked off because one of the residents of Oxford has been doing something just a wee bit silly! However can the luscious Miss de Silver have let such a thing happen? Ah well, I’m sure she was able to get it all settled at the Conclave when she took that nice kinswoman off for a private chat. Should be hearing word that it’s all settled any day now, I expect!

Mr Graystone please! We are all charmed by your recent successes, and happy that your career is thriving, but really! Taking Maevebd out again! I must appeal to you, darling readers, to do the decent thing. I know there are many wonderful and charming young ladies in this fine Kingdom of ours. Mr Graystone is a successful Tremere, much respected by his clan. Surly one of you darlings would be kind of enough to relieve the loneliness that is so acute he must take a Nosferatu out for the evening?

No sign of Mike ‘Down boy!’ Fibbins this month - I wonder what he was up to? Well, if the archaeologists turn up any more buried bones we’ll know who to blame!

We are always happy to hear that members of the Wessex community are getting the recognition they deserve. The delightful Imogen has recently been the subject of - I quake at writing the words, such is the excitement of such esteemed attention - "Hello!" magazine! Yes, the very pinnacle of mortal publishing has ‘done’ Imogen, with a complete photo-spread, interview, and all kinds of fascinating details about the darling dancer’s lifestyle. But wait, I know what you must be thinking - isn’t Imogen a little bit old for this kind of thing? Aren’t there Masquerade matters to consider? Well, gentle reader, you have no reason to worry - Imogen is far too smart to get caught out by that kind of thing. She was sensible enough to point out to the "Hello!" hacks all the excellent beauty products she has been using to keep her youthful good looks all these years! Sensible girl! Such a shame, therefore, given how clever she’s been that the article ‘fell out’ of the final publication of the magazine. Thus the mortal world will not be able to bask in her glory the way we are able to. Such a great pity. It seems someone has gone out of their way to be that extra bit careful about the Masquerade, and unfortunately stopped Imogen from getting her day in the sun.

Don’t we all love decisive leadership? Certainly! That’s why we find Gregor so charming - a man who knows what he wants to do, and gets on with it immediately! Not for him the slow, careful, intelligent consideration of the wishes of his elders and betters. No, as soon as a thought enters his head he’s off and acting on it. Sometimes he’s able to act even sooner! This he ably demonstrated in his own Elysium, where he clearly saw it was for the best to press on and act without needing to worry about the thoughts and wishes of people like Cormiac. His ability to pour water on troubled waters and oil on the flames of disagreement was ably demonstrated by the way he dealt with the delightful visiting Mage. Almost as soon as he became involved the situation was resolved for the very best for all Kindred and Wessex generally! We say well done for such quick thinking Gregor!

More growling in the Conclave, as we couldn’t help noticing another itty-bitty disagreement between that loveable Gangrel twosome, Violet and Lawrence! What where they getting their whisker in a twist about this time? Apparently Violet wasn’t entirely pleased to hear that young Sebastian Rivers had been given the job of chatting to those muscular brutes the Garou on behalf of Southampton, something traditionally taken care of by the Primogen! It seems Gregor didn’t want to risk taking up any more of Lawrence’s valuable time, what with all his other important duties for the city.

Poor Alexander Rosenthal! His name must be more common than we thought, as he’s been suffering terribly from the fact that a Alexander Rosenthal has just been added to the Sex Offenders list in his native Southampton. Seems there’s been terrible publicity about a disgusting pervert by the name of Alexander Rosenthal living in that area. Local people are up in arms, protesting that this ‘beast’ and ‘sicko’ is being allowed to roam the streets at night. Of course our little Alex would never be involved in such terrible things, its just one of those unfortunate coincidences of name. We can only hope it doesn’t prove too disruptive to what I know is the very quiet lifestyle Mr Rosenthal likes to live.

Incidentally, Alex darling, while I’m writing - did you know that it’s common practice to speak politely to ones elders, to not interrupt or contradict them, and generally act with manners at Conclaves? Just thought you might not have heard of that in your neck of the woods. If you are still curious as to the exact way to act I’m sure the delightful Elizabeth would be prepared to give you a tip or two on appropriate etiquette. Oh, and some people consider it to be, how should we say, extremely disrespectful and sickeningly rude? Yes that sounds about right! Anyway, some would consider it extremely disrespectful and sickeningly rude to promote your own views and ignorant theories about the political decisions of your elders and betters.

It seems Wessex is to be graced by a new D’Oyle, here to mop up the mystery of what happened to his Sire. Robert D’Oyle II is new to the kingdom, apparently having not been here since his embrace by his own father, now believed to be deceased. We’re sure his ‘no frills’ approach to investigation will soon unravelled the complex political embroidery that has been put on the situation by some. I’m told he was particularly keen to speak to Marion de Silver about recent events in her city, so let’s hope they hit it off! I’m sure Marion could use a new friend at the moment, and, who knows? Perhaps she’ll find something more in the delightful younger D’Oyle.

Bristol may still not be the city to be seen in, but it seems to be increasingly the city to come from! Another little visitor from Bristol charmed Wessex with his tact and etiquette, and made some useful introductions for his little Anarch friend. Now, some rather more ‘hard line’ Princes might have been irritated or put out by the presence of the descendants of the Autarkis, Kindred who seek to throw Princes from their thrown, destroy Elders like our dear King and Warmaster, and generally break up the party for all of us - but not our friendly Gregor! No, our wonderful Gregor is happy to welcome one and all with open arms, invited or otherwise! Upon being told there were Anarch terrorists in the room, he responded with a friendly ‘Oh, cool’ and it was only after severe vexing by the rather less tolerant Grace that he finally ‘went and had a word’ with them. Oh, what a lovely man! How he’d be missed if he decided that the Anarchs were his more natural home.

Your humble author is, of course, at his happiest when everyone else is happy. Which is why I’m a little saddened to report that not everyone enjoyed the Southampton conclave as much as they might have done. A shame I know, but I’ve been told that at the door one feisty young man was heard to say, "Please tell Gregor that this is the worst organised conclave I've ever attended. It is an insult that it has been allowed to continue." Such a shame! And so many people had such a good time. Who was it that was not entirely won over by Gregor’s unique way of doing things? Darlings, I couldn’t possibly say! I can only hope that his trip back to the Chantry was more agreeable than the conclave.

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