July issue of Good Evening!by Ubiquity
What more exciting and enthralling way to spend an evening than visiting a
Conclave in Southampton! Who better to depend on for action and much to talk
about than the bold Gregor! And he didn’t disappoint, did he? Giving us Anarchs,
magical fireworks, arguments, and just that little spice that comes from high
level disagreement - but I get ahead of myself, darling – let’s take it one
‘incident’ at a time.
It seems the Oxford Chantry will be treated to the sound of the pattering of
little feet! Grifon de Moy has found himself a Childe! Not his own of
course, but one that’s been ‘borrowed’ from the dashing Alvito Rodriguez
Navarre. Royal Primogen de Moy has agreed to foster the simply delicious Alina
Cheslova Markova, freshly arrived from Vienna. Apparently the darling Alina is
too talented for Mr Navarre to take care of her tuition personally, so has
turned to the redoutable genius of de Moy. Lets all give her a wonderful welcome
to Wessex, and not let her get stuck away in that stuffy old Chantry all the
Poor Marion de Silver didn’t really look her best in Southampton, did she?
Usually such a perky girl, events really seemed to be getting on top of her.
Perhaps it was out of concern for her general well being that the Royal Primogen
decided to take her away from the hustle and bustle of the meeting and have a
private word about a few things. Well, it’s so important to have friends when
you are in an import and powerful position such as Prince. Shame they all had
such serious faces, I’m sure she was hoping for a bit of a joke and a lark, but
it was almost as if she was getting a little ticking off about something.
But then, as we all know, well respected and competent Princes never
receive criticism from the Royal Primogen!
So nice to have visitors to Wessex - there do seem to be rather more Brujah
milling around than usual. The poor chaps and chapessess are left without a home
to go to after been given the heave-ho by London. Oh well, perhaps they’ll
provide good company for darling Robert Guisgard who has been looking a little
lost and lonely recently. Why his Royal Primogen pals haven’t been ‘hanging out’
(as I believe they say on what I believe they call ‘the street’ these days) with
him so much recently is anybody’s guess. I mean, representing such a noble,
thoughtful, intelligent, resourceful, competent, well-meaning, tactful, politic
and overall friendly clan as he does, you would think they’d be overjoyed
at the chance to spend time with him.
You’ll never guess what - that man Lee Alexander is chasing the ladies again! It
seems he was so pleased with the way Elizabeth received his last little prize
winning Haiku that he’s been making up a few more, just for her! My spies tell
me he was heard delicately murmuring the following into Elizabeth’s delectable
ear at the last conclave:
Why must names limit?
Far better not to be bound
to but one favour.
But whatever can it mean? Well, your beloved author had to scratch his head a
little about this, I can tell you! Like many great works of art, the layman can
only fully appreciate it after a little explanation ... so permit me to expound.
You see it’s all about names. The word ‘favour’ is of course used in one of its
more obscure senses 'That which conciliates affection or goodwill;
attractiveness, comeliness, beauty; an attraction, charm', according to my
little book. Could it perhaps be that the ‘one favour’ is a reference to Grace,
perhaps indicating the thought that she may be limited to the single favour of
her name? Now, who do we know that by comparison has a name that suggests many
favours? Well, Elizabeth is of course a Queen’s name, and it might be said that
Queens hold all the favours!
Certainly a charming little piece to whisper to Elizabeth, although rumour
has it she has yet to acknowledge his most strenuous efforts to attract her
attention. Perhaps she doesn’t want to risk upsetting her sister!
But one wonders why if Mr Alexander considers Grace so lacking in favours
that he was seen escorting her away at the end of the evening! Perhaps he feels
sorry for poor Grace, and hasn’t the heart to tell her himself that he has
become so charmed by her wonderful older sister! No matter Gracey love, I’m sure
you’ll find a man for yourself soon!
Don’t go down to the woods today, darlings! Apparently those pesky little Garou
are a wee bit miffed at us Wessex Kindred! Can’t think why, perhaps they are
envious of our dress sense! (If the sophistication of these words reaches the
depths of woodland where they play, here’s a little piece of advice for you, my
husky friends: Grunge is so very, very out darlings! We can’t spend all
our lives looking like newly dug up road protesters, now, can we?) Well, a
little bird tells me that they were a little ticked off because one of the
residents of Oxford has been doing something just a wee bit silly!
However can the luscious Miss de Silver have let such a thing happen? Ah well,
I’m sure she was able to get it all settled at the Conclave when she took that
nice kinswoman off for a private chat. Should be hearing word that it’s all
settled any day now, I expect!
Mr Graystone please! We are all charmed by your recent successes, and happy that
your career is thriving, but really! Taking Maevebd out again! I must
appeal to you, darling readers, to do the decent thing. I know there are many
wonderful and charming young ladies in this fine Kingdom of ours. Mr Graystone
is a successful Tremere, much respected by his clan. Surly one of you darlings
would be kind of enough to relieve the loneliness that is so acute he must take
a Nosferatu out for the evening?
No sign of Mike ‘Down boy!’ Fibbins this month - I wonder what he was up to?
Well, if the archaeologists turn up any more buried bones we’ll know who to
We are always happy to hear that members of the Wessex community are getting the
recognition they deserve. The delightful Imogen has recently been the subject of
- I quake at writing the words, such is the excitement of such esteemed
attention - "Hello!" magazine! Yes, the very pinnacle of mortal publishing has
‘done’ Imogen, with a complete photo-spread, interview, and all kinds of
fascinating details about the darling dancer’s lifestyle. But wait, I know what
you must be thinking - isn’t Imogen a little bit old for this kind of thing?
Aren’t there Masquerade matters to consider? Well, gentle reader, you have no
reason to worry - Imogen is far too smart to get caught out by that kind
of thing. She was sensible enough to point out to the "Hello!" hacks all the
excellent beauty products she has been using to keep her youthful good looks all
these years! Sensible girl! Such a shame, therefore, given how clever she’s been
that the article ‘fell out’ of the final publication of the magazine. Thus the
mortal world will not be able to bask in her glory the way we are able to. Such
a great pity. It seems someone has gone out of their way to be that extra bit
careful about the Masquerade, and unfortunately stopped Imogen from getting her
day in the sun.
Don’t we all love decisive leadership? Certainly! That’s why we find Gregor so
charming - a man who knows what he wants to do, and gets on with it immediately!
Not for him the slow, careful, intelligent consideration of the wishes of his
elders and betters. No, as soon as a thought enters his head he’s off and acting
on it. Sometimes he’s able to act even sooner! This he ably demonstrated in his
own Elysium, where he clearly saw it was for the best to press on and act
without needing to worry about the thoughts and wishes of people like Cormiac.
His ability to pour water on troubled waters and oil on the flames of
disagreement was ably demonstrated by the way he dealt with the delightful
visiting Mage. Almost as soon as he became involved the situation was resolved
for the very best for all Kindred and Wessex generally! We say well done for
such quick thinking Gregor!
More growling in the Conclave, as we couldn’t help noticing another itty-bitty
disagreement between that loveable Gangrel twosome, Violet and Lawrence! What
where they getting their whisker in a twist about this time? Apparently Violet
wasn’t entirely pleased to hear that young Sebastian Rivers had been given the
job of chatting to those muscular brutes the Garou on behalf of Southampton,
something traditionally taken care of by the Primogen! It seems Gregor didn’t
want to risk taking up any more of Lawrence’s valuable time, what with all his
other important duties for the city.
Poor Alexander Rosenthal! His name must be more common than we thought, as
he’s been suffering terribly from the fact that a Alexander Rosenthal has just
been added to the Sex Offenders list in his native Southampton. Seems there’s
been terrible publicity about a disgusting pervert by the name of Alexander
Rosenthal living in that area. Local people are up in arms, protesting that this
‘beast’ and ‘sicko’ is being allowed to roam the streets at night. Of course
our little Alex would never be involved in such terrible things, its just
one of those unfortunate coincidences of name. We can only hope it doesn’t prove
too disruptive to what I know is the very quiet lifestyle Mr Rosenthal likes to
Incidentally, Alex darling, while I’m writing - did you know that it’s common
practice to speak politely to ones elders, to not interrupt or contradict them,
and generally act with manners at Conclaves? Just thought you might not have
heard of that in your neck of the woods. If you are still curious as to the
exact way to act I’m sure the delightful Elizabeth would be prepared to give you
a tip or two on appropriate etiquette. Oh, and some people consider it to be,
how should we say, extremely disrespectful and sickeningly rude? Yes that sounds
about right! Anyway, some would consider it extremely disrespectful and
sickeningly rude to promote your own views and ignorant theories about the
political decisions of your elders and betters.
It seems Wessex is to be graced by a new D’Oyle, here to mop up the mystery of
what happened to his Sire. Robert D’Oyle II is new to the kingdom, apparently
having not been here since his embrace by his own father, now believed to be
deceased. We’re sure his ‘no frills’ approach to investigation will soon
unravelled the complex political embroidery that has been put on the situation
by some. I’m told he was particularly keen to speak to Marion de Silver about
recent events in her city, so let’s hope they hit it off! I’m sure Marion could
use a new friend at the moment, and, who knows? Perhaps she’ll find something
more in the delightful younger D’Oyle.
Bristol may still not be the city to be seen in, but it seems to be increasingly
the city to come from! Another little visitor from Bristol charmed Wessex with
his tact and etiquette, and made some useful introductions for his little Anarch
friend. Now, some rather more ‘hard line’ Princes might have been irritated or
put out by the presence of the descendants of the Autarkis, Kindred who seek to
throw Princes from their thrown, destroy Elders like our dear King and
Warmaster, and generally break up the party for all of us - but not our friendly
Gregor! No, our wonderful Gregor is happy to welcome one and all with open arms,
invited or otherwise! Upon being told there were Anarch terrorists in the room,
he responded with a friendly ‘Oh, cool’ and it was only after severe vexing by
the rather less tolerant Grace that he finally ‘went and had a word’ with them.
Oh, what a lovely man! How he’d be missed if he decided that the Anarchs were
his more natural home.
Your humble author is, of course, at his happiest when everyone else is happy.
Which is why I’m a little saddened to report that not everyone enjoyed the
Southampton conclave as much as they might have done. A shame I know, but I’ve
been told that at the door one feisty young man was heard to say, "Please tell
Gregor that this is the worst organised conclave I've ever attended. It is an
insult that it has been allowed to continue." Such a shame! And so many people
had such a good time. Who was it that was not entirely won over by
Gregor’s unique way of doing things? Darlings, I couldn’t possibly say! I can
only hope that his trip back to the Chantry was more agreeable than the
to Good Evening!
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