Oxford University Role Playing Games Society
ICON News 5
ICON News 5
Now the Zhanians have jump drives, and as their expansion still goes unopposed, they have established a second base in the Karellian federation, by the jump gate leading to Shari. All their bases have seen a large increase in activity recently, as the Imperium prepares for its first major offensive against the New Empire.
STARMERC'S KILLER CONTRACT
The cooperation treaty signed by StarMerc and the New Empire send StarMerc profits to new heights. Using New Empire mining tecnhology (apperently scaled down versions of the planet plating machines), StarMerc can now offer most common materials at much lower prices. At the same time StarMerc seems to make a killing from supplying New Empire forces within CivCore.
GRANGOR - ROUND 3
The triumph of the New Empire after it conquered Grangor lasted only for a short time. The Empire of Zhan, allied with the CCF and the Karellian federation, ousted the New Empire from Grangor, which was already the place of the first New Empire defeat some six months ago. This time there was no long battle: the New Empire left Grangor almost immediately when the Zhanian forces arrived. The New Empire forces have regrouped at StarMerc, where they opened a new supply base.
HELYAN/AAMEI BAD FEELING ESCALATES
The Aamei are said to be attempting to form an army from their supporters in order to fight for the freedom of CivCore. A close source tells us that, following the murder of their ambassador at the Devshuk Day celebrations, the Aamei see themselves as the only moral force remaining to stop the Helyans and Zhanians from taking over CivCore and making a military empire far more vicious than anything the Aamei ever considered. The Aamei themselves are however making no moves towards rebuilding their own military, and will certainly rely on others should war break out.
THE DARK LEGION FROM HEL
Recent new evidence from survivors reveals that many of the ships in the Dark Legion are of Helyan design. We must ask if there is any connection between the Legion and the Helyan government. They claim total ignorance; but could the Helyans, who are famed for their security, really lose so many ships accidentally?
CURVED YELLOW SEX OBJECTS
The new pop sensation that is rocking the galaxy, Funky and the Bananas, has made yet another change in its style. They claim they are concentrating on the more sensual, seductive side of funk, but this seems to be an excuse for a lot of pure smut. The Bananas have secured an ingenious contract with the Ikzari to advertise their sex toys, which they go about with perhaps a little too much vigour. The graphic lyrics and equally graphic simulations of sex in their stage act have been denounced by moral authorities everywhere, and the things they do to a 10' model of the Voration during the song "Unnamable Cosmic Entities that Tear your Sanity Apart (Need a Little Loving Too)" defy description.
Funky and the Bananas have been playing at venues all across CivCore, including a special appearance on P5. Many of the bananoid members of the band returned from P5 looking very happy, a bit less manic, and slightly peeled.
CCF VICTIMISED BY NEMESIS
Although his Dark Legion was decimated and disbanded in the attack on Grangor, Nemesis is still spearheading attacks on the CCF. By constructing a dummy base on an Aamei colony, he tricked CCF forces into triggering a series of virus bombs, killing thousands of innocents before medical help arrived. Lord Nemesis left a personal note for Admiral Nimyek, which an intrepid reporter in a gas mask managed to read: 'You're not the solution, you're part of the problem.' Admiral Nimyek is reportedly very angry and more determined than ever to bring Nemesis to justice.
The HCPD is keeping a recent break-in very quiet. Our informant, a source close to High Priest Tarik, claims that files have been taken, but an official spokesman refuses to comment.
There is a new, sensational artist travelling with the increasingly famous band fronted by Funky Banana. The relative unknown, the Rebel Mint Choccychip, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Johnny Vlarg in sunglasses, is a heavy metal rap artist who claims to have been really big on his home planet, although on our trip to Karellia we weren't able to pick up any of his albums. The Rebel MCC has been given his own quarter of an hour protest slot on the tour, in which he fronts such songs as 'Johnny Vlarg is innocent (motherfucker)' and 'Badasses Leave our Refugees alone'.
Tired of being walked over by near-invulnerable alien invaders? Fed up of worrying that at any time your home, family, friends and planet could be destroyed? Join the CCF (TM) and defend everything you hold dear. The CCF (TM), where men are real men, women are real women, and small blue fuzzy creatures are real small blue fuzzy creatures.
REBEL MINT CHOCCYCHIP BAD EXAMPLE
There has been a great deal of concern from the moral highground, not about the sex toys from Clan Irnabe and the Ikzari being peddled and advertised by Funky Banana, but about the bad language used by the Rebel MCC. Parents on a hundred worlds are reputedly concerned that their children have started swearing at them and are increasingly violent as a result of this bad example. CCTV calls on Funky Banana's band to expunge this badmouth from their show.
P5 CUSTOMERS COMPLAIN
During the P5 visit to Hel, shortly after the Devshkar Day celebrations the amusement of P5 customers was interrupted, when several armed CCF soldiers searched part of P5, clearly not looking for the usual attractions. Some P5 customers are said to have complained rather strongly.
CAN CCF BE TRUSTED?
Most of the leading lights in the current CCF happen to be Helyan. One of our reporters has put together this evidence: Grand Admiral Ankash and most Rear Admirals in the CCF are now Helyan following the attack on Grangor. There was a recognisable Helyan component to the Dark Legion, and even a spokesperson for the Helyan Government did not rule out the possibility of support from the highest levels. The Helyans and the CCF have both allied closely with the Imperium. The Zhanian Empire has now retaken Grangor to be returned to the CCF. An Aamei ambassador who seemed to get too close to the truth was murdered on Devshuk Day. Mantiu, head of the Galactic Harmony Movement which seems to be linked with the Dark Legion is Helyan.
The CCF was set up to protect the whole of CivCore: it is a sad day when many races feel they need to be protected from the CCF, seeing it as a Helyan lapdog. Can this be allowed to continue? Campaigns are beginning asking for representation from other races in the major posts within the CCF. CCTV calls for an answer to this situation. CCF spokesmen have refused to comment...
COULD B'REIT BE NEMESIS?
The GMG began the construction of a new spherical space station in the A'Amey system. Managing Director B'Reit announced on a press conference that this is the proto-type of the Kontor Mark II space station, which will greatly enhence the GMG's ability to provide its services to all members. He admitted that 'with some fantasy one could indeed see some resemblence between the space station built at Nowhere 12 and the Kontor Mark II spacestation'.
DRA'NAAR REPORTS ON THE MUAT-TIEN FINAL - FAVOURITE WINS!
Muat-Tien has recently become a highly popular sport amongst the CivCore population. Thus it was with considerable interest that I watched the final of the championship, particularly as one of the competitors was Freeman Jaegian of the Aamei, under the name of Maelstrom, who is also involved with the meetings to discuss the 'New Empire' conflict. Maelstrom's opponent in this battle was called Berserker, who claimed no particular race and was possibly genetically engineered.
The battle area was a desert, with few memorable features. Both competitors made a conventional start, immediately picking up a nearby weapon. Apparently happy with their weapons, both then advanced, with Berserker showing remarkable speed. In an risky tactical move, Berserker suddenly stood his ground, despite having picked up a sabre. Conversely, Maelstrom closed the distance to melee range even though he had collected a machine gun.
The reason for Maelstrom's advance rapidly became clear as he extended claws which are probably a cybernetic enhancement. This seemed to surprise Berserker, and Maelstrom managed a skillful slash with his claws. Unfortunately for Maelstrom, Berserker's carapace-like skin proved extremely tough, and the claws were largely ineffective. Recovering rapidly, Berserker counterattacked with the sabre, seriously injuring Maelstrom.
The competitors separated slightly and Maelstrom, again catching Berserker off guard, used the machine gun, causing respectable damage. Unfortunately for Maelstrom, this was not enough to defeat Berserker and the sabre counterattack ended the battle. Thus Berserker became the champion. The battle was certainly not one sided though and Maelstrom is clearly worth watching in the future.
THE CCF NEEDS YOU
The CCF started a major recruitment drive in an attempt to re-establish its force. Ground forces especially were hard hit during the recent attacks on the CCF, and new recruits are urgently needed. A majority of volunteers seems to be Helyan, following the great example set by Grand Admiral Ankash (TM).
JOHNNY VLARG GETS THE GIRL?
Members of the Morals and Standards League have made an attack on the devastatingly attractive Ikzari ambassador, Tae Loquelis Ikzara, while she attended a Funky and the Bananas concert. Throwing off his vicious rap-artist persona, the Rebel MCC jumped down from the stage to bop the bad guys on the nose, revealing himself to be none other than Johnny Vlarg, wearing spandex underneath his ripped leather. Tae Loquelis has been gracious in her thanks, and has been seen casting charged glances at Vlarg during the remainder of the tour. Vlarg says 'I know that swearing doesn't set a good example. But I thought the CCF were after me and I had to hide, and it is worse to break a promise than to swear, so I have to finish the tour. But don't copy me, kids, and be respectful to your mums and dads.'
GOODBYE DARK LEGION
The CCF Fast Patrol Fleet, under the command of Admiral Nimyek, has destroyed one of the many threats pending over CivCore, the Dark Legion. The few survivors from Grangor were hunted down and destroyed, although Lord Nemesis eludes capture. What a victory for justice.
REFUGEE CHARITIES LOSE SUPPORT
It seems that the people of CivCore are losing sympathy for the refugees of Cymlana and Amoria, many of whom now have top-bracket income. Children seem to be more interested in Funky Banana and CCF ActionDolls than in either fluffy Cymlana or 'My Little R'Tani', although the new R'Tani Collectable Card Game Video Action Tazos did something to arrest the slump.
GRAND ADMIRAL ANKASH (TM) AND THE THARILS
Grand Admiral Ankash has announced in a CCTV interview with Sylus Kovar that the CCF would from now on recruit Tharils as volunteers. When questioned, the Grand Admiral admitted that this means that Tharils are more than animals, and that the opinions of the CCF and the HCPD differ on this point.