A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME

A True, Reliable, and Entirely Accurate History of the OUSDS

Scottish dancing and Oxford have a long and close connection, which although not immediately apparent, soon becomes evident under the light of proper historical scrutiny. Merton College (1264) was originally founded as an institute for the "practyce and enjoiment of reeles, jiggs, and strathspays", and the original entrance requirement to that college was the performance of a perfect Spurtle. The number and variety of quads was deliberate, to enable practice of square sets and varying formations. Mob Quad is, as anyone who has measured it will know, the perfect size for a Sixteensome Reel. The undergraduates, tonsured novices all of them, were taught how to recite the Liturgy while setting and to perform Communion with Petronella turns. A typical seven year course would teach all students to perform to the highest level; and upon graduation, after reeling through what-was-to-be Radcliffe Square with every other member of the university, a full gown was awarded to match the kilt. Other colleges followed Merton and tried to disrupt their monopoly; much of Merton’s wealth comes from ill-judged challenges from these upstart colleges, who believed they could do a finer Eightsome. Dancing was not just part of the instruction; it was the instruction.

The first test of the society came in 1296, when Edward of England invaded Scotland. Two former members of the OUSDS, William "Braveheart" Wallace, and Andrew "Dewdney" Moray immediately set off for Scotland, using Highland Travelling step. When they arrived a year later, they defeated the English at Stirling. Andrew was credited with the winning strategy, which consisted of doing a Highland Fling on the edge of a cliff, and leaping whenever anyone charged at him. This led to the loss of the greater part of the English Army, which withdrew in disgust at these unsporting tactics. They returned to complete the job in 1314, by which time Robert Bruce has completed his term as President, and headed up to the Highlands. The English once again could not compete with the dancing skills of the Scottish and in 1328 they allowed the Scots independence.

Meanwhile, back at the OUSDS, in the mid fourteenth century, Dennis and Diana Tucker began teaching. The minutes of the very first TGM in Seventh Week, Michaelmas Term, 1354, still survive, and are a valuable source of information. They show that the society gave Dennis some manuscript tokens, thanked him for his time; and he said how much he enjoyed teaching the group. Mead and oatcake representatives were elected, and the post of treasurer was invented to cope with the emergence of a currency-based capitalist economy. It is unknown how long the meeting lasted, as the candle did not burn for long enough to provide a recognisable division of time.

And then, several years later, Univ came along and ruined all the dedicated work of the Mertonians. Believing in an outdated and senseless programme of "education", they began to turn Oxford away from its original purpose and make it a university. Because of fashion and the short-sighted ambitions of the ruling classes, young noblemen were taught the quadrivium rather than The Quadrille. Merton'’s decline was not helped by John Wycliffe, whose heresy and unpopularity were intimately linked with Scottish dancing. Part of his anti-authoritarian programme was the writing of his own dances, featuring unheard-of progressions and dangerous new set sizes. Intent on destroying the artifice of ceremony, for the first time, ceilidh whooping was actively encouraged. An anti-Lollard described "all mannere of reeling and spinning" during a typical Lollard gathering, and even the University authorities took a dim view of some of the more elaborate dances. Wycliffe died peacefully, but his bones were then dug up and burnt by the government "as a lesson to all heretics." Bob "Miss" M’lygin, the Chancellor of the University, was said to have written a dance to commemorate the tragedy, called "Burn Lollard Burn (you're off to Inferno)" but this has not survived. Bob was also credited with the creation of the RSCDS, founded for ex-OUSDS members all over the world. The HQ was set up in Edinburgh, a tactical move to ensure the Scots kept on Scottish dancing, and did not start something else, which might have caused confusion.

The fourteenth century saw the establishment of the Thursday class in Summertown, and a shocking rise in membership prices. Two cows and a pig were now required for yearly subscription, rather than the traditional charge of a hen; in protest, three members burnt their kilts and were heard to mutter, "*&% this, let’s found Morris dancing." The last they were heard of, they all had bells and long white beards, which was surprising given that the three of them were women. The fifteenth century, being the Dark Ages, was dark, and no-one really enjoyed themselves. A lot of bumps and bruises were collected in this period, as absolute precision was required, the dancers being unable to see one another. But then! along came the Renaissance and humanism and all things good, and Scottish dancing was brought out from the gloom. The newly-founded Bodleian was established as a home for manuscripts of dances, and Dennis injured his calf muscles whilst performing a Tulloch Turn under hazardous conditions.

At the same time, the Scots were defeated by the English at the battle of Flodden. This was attributed to the English starting the battle before the scots had time to change into their dancing shoes, and thus fighting at a tremendous disadvantage. Later on, during what is known as the "Rough Wooing" Henry the Eighth caused so much damage to the dance floor that Edinburgh Castle had to be rebuilt. Around this time, back in Oxford the well known John Wesley was burnt at the stake for mispronouncing the words to Old Lang Syne at the Hilary term Ceilidh. The monarchy took this as a deliberate challenge to the status quo. Wesley is best remembered, however, for having the first purpose built dance hall in Oxford, and bequeathing access to it once a week to the OUSDS on his death. In 1559 John Knox was sent to Scotland to inform the Scots of the latest advances at Merton; He took with him several books by the eminent Mathematician John Drewry, This caused such shock waves that the entire Scottish Church was converted in an afternoon.

The Civil War obviously had a great effect on Oxford, what with the king coming to stay and everything. This is not to say that Charles enjoyed unqualified support, with the Right Hon. Duncan Sheehan QC and Sir Rupert Wilmouth fighting a very public, and very bloody duel in the middle of Broad Street. The match was declared a tie, and they retired to the Turf for drinks; the next day, they were both seen in an intoxicated condition arguing about whether pudding bowl or fly-away haircuts were more fashionable, and whether ribbons on one’s saddle made one look French. The Scottish Dance Society actually performed for the king in exile, receiving eight gold sovereigns and free drinks for their trouble. The president also managed to catch the eye of a young serving lady, but as she was one of the king’s mistresses, he was told at dagger point to keep off. So he did. This incident accidentally created the tradition of Scots men wearing nothing under their kilts. The young lady in question having decided to keep a souvenir of the occasion, the president found himself lacking his one and only undercloth. Since then, as now, the dress of society was taken by example from the President, the tradition was created. How everyone discovered remains unanswered to this day. On the same occasion, one Compte Le Marchand distinguished himself performing high cuts until the king, tired of his prancing, ordered the final cut; and no more was seen of the Marchand. This incensed the OUSDS so much that they invited their pipers to play Charles out of England, which they did, until he fled to the Isle of Wight.

After the Civil war came Charles II, the age of toleration for all things happy and joyful. With the lifting of the ban on dancing, the attraction waned, and the OUSDS was in danger of dissipating. But then James I and the act of Union intervened. It is one of the lesser known facts of the Gunpowder plot that Guy MacFawkes was actually discovered because, bored with waiting for the gunpowder to blow up, he decided to amuse himself by playing his bagpipes and doing a Highland Fling. Contrary to popular belief, he was not killed because of the plot at all, but because he refused to stop playing. In the words of the Guard captain "it was so bloody awful he deserved to die." Some other members of the society were put to death while having a Ceilidh at their house in the country, for breaking the local noise regulations.

After the Civil War came the Glorious Revolution, William and Mary, and all that fuss with the Jacobites. OUSDS were obviously on the side of Mr. Orange (except when they were fighting against him), and played a visible, if rather ineffective, part in the skirmishes. Indeed, it is rumoured that the refusal of the Jacobites to hand over some swords so that the society could do a Jacobean Sword dance was the main reason for the war.

During this period, the English, in their typical unthinking way, invaded Scotland and took it over. This caused no end of troubles. To stop the Scots from becoming uppity, they banned the wearing of tartan. This caused much consternation at the OUSDS. After one or two abortive dancing sessions, for the sake of preserving the Ladies’ modesty, and society funds, it was decreed that the men also should wear white skirts. This was greeted with much merriment by the female members of the society. Unfortunately, the government, still in the throes of strict puritanism, took a much dimmer view of the entire affair, and several members narrowly avoided being burnt at the stake by escaping to the continent. Returning several years later, they brought with them such foreign names as the Espagnole and La Baratte.

It is rumoured that the disreputable renegade Andrew Thomson, who led the massacre of Glencoe in 1692 might once have danced at our society, and spent his last days writing dances to celebrate his part in the slaughter. This is not confirmed and actually rather dubious; all the relevant testimony about Thomson’s heroic exploits comes from a Miss Millar of Killiecrankie, who is suspected to be partial in the case. Under the restored monarchy, Scottish dancing was frowned upon as "un-English", and the movement again went underground. Sharing common links with the Ranters, the Quakers, and my very favourites the Muggletonians, religious dissent and crossing reels became inextricably linked. Dancing was political, a way of asserting nationhood and recovering the individual from underneath the burgeoning conformity of the middle classes; it also enabled grown men to put on a skirt and dance like a girl.

The conduct of the society in the war was not entirely without note. The Ealanta team's challenge to the Scottish highlanders at Culloden to settle the event by a judged demonstration of the Cumberland reel was decisive, with the Duke of Cumberland kindly getting his butcher to provide refreshments for which the area is famous. The Scots returned to Scotland with the tails tucked under their kilts.

The end of the eighteenth century, and a tide of revolution was sweeping Europe! America declared itself independent, and the first of many visiting students appeared at OUSDS. France overthrew its monarchy and razed all the symbols of the old regime, and the French refugees brought with them to England a whole new vocabulary for dancing. The manoeuvre known until 1790 as "pootle round with your partner in a funny oblong shape" was re-christened "the Poussette", and "Promenade" replaced the rather more prosaic "walk". Scottish dancing came into its own in an era of increasing liberalism and tolerance. As every good, and many bad, historians know the middle classes kept on rising, and brought with them to Oxford a popularising spirit. As the system of personal servants and lavish accomodation was modernised into the system of scouts and broom cupboards, OUSDS changed with the times, and began accepting non-titled members. Second sons were now permitted so long as they were fluent in Greek, and women - hitherto regarded as equal and liberated members of the society - were suddenly forced to dance as ladies and wear white sheets. This caused an uproar, particularly among some of the men, who had grown used to dancing on the other side and could not swap back easily. Victorianism was very dull, and no-one enjoyed themselves, but it did mean that minute books were better kept. From this, we know the water and Digestives rep was Jamie Fotherton-Healey, and the secretary Samantha Esk-Stainer. We also know that the president was removed from office after being rather too vigorous in his work to reclaim prostitutes, although he claimed late-night naked prayer sessions were simply an expression of faith, and the elaborate leather and rubber device hanging by his bed a way of mortifying flesh. Dennis and Diana were thanked for their time, and they both said how much they enjoyed teaching the group.

At last, the twentieth century and its attendent slaugher hove into view, and during the First World War too many young dancers lost their lives. This was not helped by the insistence of a hard-core group of Oxford dons on using Strathspey step to advance upon the enemy, and preceding every attack with a rendition of the Highland fling in full view of the enemy. Peace for a time, and we all danced in corrugated sheds and smoked pipes, then more bloody and senseless warfare. It has been claimed that, if viewed correctly, the Allied Invasion plan follows the same pattern as "Polharrow Burn", although some historians prefer the "None so Pretty" hypothesis. However, there can be no doubt as to the provenance of "Montgomeries’ Rant" over the debacle at Arnhem. Rumour has it that in the original demonstration, given in the gardens of Edinburgh Castle, the dance was heralded by the dropping of the entire Scottish Airborne forces in full dress uniform. The dance was never danced, but 5,000 soldiers were arrested for indecent exposure.

It is unknown whether Jack Churchill had been a member of the OUSDS, but from his deportment in War it is suspected this was indeed the case. He was the one officer if the British Army of 1943 who entered battle armed with a claidhmore, and his bag pipes cleared more Italians from Monte Casino that his Commandos ever did. He was tragically killed while leading down too far in "Wild Geese" when he hit the German front line. When he explained what he was doing there, the Germans took the name of the dance as an obscure insult, and shot him.

OUSDS swung into the Sixties with the Summer Love ceilidh and the ill-fated punt trip, where rather too much tripping and not enough punting caused the tragic death of Miss Anna Merkin. The Seventies and Eighties are best forgotten, although we did have lots of members and very little money, and the Nineties have so far been eventful. Facing the challenge of a new Millenium, OUSDS stands proud before its history, with rising membership, 4 swords, an incipient tartan and confident with its young, charming, even handsome president at the helm. In times of crisis, future caretakers of the sacred Archie will do well to remember the advice of the immortal Dennis Tucker: "Get hold of that Girl and push!!!"

Researched, Compiled, and Edited by Tim Herrick and Bevan Marchand.