Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?


A chicken at rest remains at rest; a chicken in motion remains in motion.
Sir Isaac Newton
To boldly go where no hen has gone before.
Capt. James Tiberius Kirk
The ideal chicken must ideally cross the ideal road. Therefore, imperfect chickens in this world cross imperfect roads, imperfectly.
Plato
Driven by the lash of economic necessity.
Karl Marx
It is the essense of chickens to cross the road.
Aristotle
Because it was there.
Sir Edmund Hilary
The question admits of limitless answers, since there is no one logocentric strategy of discourse that takes primacy over all others.
Jacques Derrida
To impose a meaning upon her accidental existence.
Jean Paul Sartre
Uncle Ike saw her first: just an ordinary chicken, he thought for a moment, a chicken picking here and pecking there, gradually working her way across the road toward the lawn; but then he felt the fingers tighten on his arm and looked up, astounded, to see him, the Colonel, eyes lit with a new fire, face aglow like a saint seeing a vision: and then it was destiny, a thing pre-ordained, a fatality, for the Colonel did not reveal even to him, Uncle Ike, the secret ingredients, not the names of the herbs and not even the number of them, and so the secret of the crust remained, a hermetic mystery, locked in the private places of the Colonel's soul: and yet the vision was real, a true moment of Fate; for the franchises sold almost as fast as they could slaughter and gut the stock, and they spread across the country, across the civilized world, making the Colonel not just a millionaire but a billionaire, and Uncle Ike saw it all, knew it all, from the beginning to the day when the initials KFC were to be seen in every city, every town, every hamlet large enough to own two mules and an Assembly of God church: until now, standing in the shop in Jefferson, Yoknapatawpha County, where Flem Snopes, the bank president, hawked and coughed and spat on the floor, then hoisted his britches, country style, and said to the waitress, "Extra crispy, please."
William Faulkner
To leave the place she knew for another place
And to stay there for a while
And then to visit both places.
T.S.Eliot
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon the inertial system of the observer.
Albert Einstein
To die. In the rain.
Ernest Hemingway
To escape the crawling horror lurking on this side of the road, a nameless and foetid monstrosity that cannot be conceived save in the dreams of madness.
H.P. Lovecraft
There was no chicken, no road, no crossing. There was only an interpretation.
Friederich Nietzsche
She was seduced by the dark side of the road.
Darth Vader
She had beady inhuman eyes like strange black jewels and the kind of feathers a bird of paradise might envy. I knew that if they made her a free-range chicken she'd take off and never look back.
Raymond Chandler
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Machiavelli
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Thomas de Torquemada
Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
B.F. Skinner
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Carl Jung
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Buddha
Out of custom and habit.
David Hume
For fun.
Epicurus
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What road?
Pyrrho the Skeptic
You tell me.
The Sphinx
I forget.
Ronald Reagan
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Mark Twain
To prove it could never reach the other side.
Zeno of Elea

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