(Thanks to David Levene for sending me a photocopy of this; I don't know where it comes from originally.)
Then Jesus took his disciples up to the mountain, and gathering them around him he taught them:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are the meek; blessed are they that mourn; blessed are the merciful; blessed are they that thirst for justice; blessed are you when you are persecuted. Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is great in heaven...
Then Simon Peter asked: "Are we supposed to know this?"
Andrew asked: "Do we have to write this down?"
And Phillip said: "I don't have any paper!"
And Bartholomew asked: "Do we have to give this in?"
John said: "The other disciples didn't have to learn this."
And Matthew asked: "May I go to the toilet?"
Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus' lesson plan, and inquired of Jesus: "Where is your anticipatory set and your objectives in the cognitive domain?"
And Jesus wept.
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