OUCCC vs Eynsham Park

at Mansfield Road, July 30th 2000

The oppo didn't turn up. The End.

However, since:

it was a nice day,
Bill had prepared a deck,
Mrs Bill had prepared a chocolate cake,
Lawrence was back,
Raj had dragged himself away from all those Italian women, and
Tony Mc had returned from his top secret mission to Washington and Russia (apparently his secrets were more valuable in Kent),

we decided to play a six-a-side game. This wasn't easy, as there were only eleven of us (including two Eynsham Park players who obviously hadn't been informed by their captain that the game was off, unlike the entire Manny Road team. Oops, we weren't told either. Apparently Charles is the only one whose number Skip has.)

Lawrence and Chalky were designated captains and the sides (Jeremy's Queens and Lawrence's Faggotts) were chosen slightly unevenly. Rules were loosely defined - 25 overs each, the batting team would field but (because there were Indians and South Africans involved) wouldn't bowl against their teammates. The Queens batted first, Migwara being annoying by switching hands after each run he scored. Ted-from-Eynsham Park managed to get Rich to hit one in the air to Tony Mc, then trapped Brian-from-EP in front first ball. The Queens took a 10-run penalty to allow Brian to bat again. Tony Mc bowled a straight one to remove Migwara. Martin Booth and Brian then made a heap of runs (unofficially 52 not out and 56). I'd had enough by now so Tony Mc was keeping and I was preparing to bowl. We combined to run Brian out (slightly assisted by Brian). I bowled some off-quim, then switched to medium-ish and got Nigel to spoon one back to me for a two-ball duck. Chalky, being evil/nasty/mean/heartless/greedy/ruthless/not very nice person that he is, chose not to give up another 10 runs and batted himself instead. His plan backfired when he smashed 23 off about 15 balls, mostly off me. Tony Mc let Lawrence take over the keeping so he could bowl at Chalky, but I bowled an unplayable delivery to knock Chalky over. They declared, having scored about 170, despite having about 5 overs still available.

By the time, the Faggotts' innings started we had lost both Nigel and Ted but had gained a very small child, meaning there were only four batsmen and four fielders. Chalky enticed Tony Mc into playing shots through the off side by not putting any fielders there, but only after we had taken a 10-run penalty. Tony was a bit distracted when his daughter woke up, but she was strapped into her pram so he kept batting. He eventually got out again, allowing Lawrence and I to score some runs. The Queens bowled better than we did, but we were still in with a chance with 6 overs to go. Then Lawrence got bowled, and it was down to me and Raj. We needed 10 off the last over and would have made them if I didn't get run out. Well fielded by Brian. Lawrence and I both made 60something. Tony Mc, Rich and Paul combined for kit-packing in Nigel's absence, so any of those three can bat rashly in a game which Nigel plays without having to worry about kit-pack - you owe them, Nigel!

Beer and curry ensued, although there was a rebel anti-curry tour. Discussions included:

why Raj hates women.
whether anyone had ever considered "forcing themselves" on a woman (thanks Tony Mc).
whether non-consensual anal sex is rape (thanks Chalky).
how the game of rounders developed as a allegory for espionage (thanks to some American weirdo - one of those words is superfluous - at the KA).

Naturally, the staff at Shimla Pinks may not be very keen to let us come back, especially after we used the marble joke!

If you have any comments about these pages, please email Anthony O'Dea (odea@physchem.ox.ac.uk) or Paul Miyagawa (paul.miyagawa@somerville.oxford.ac.uk).