Given all the furore my match reports have caused over the past season I had two options for this my last one. Either write a sledge-free report or go about and sledge everybody so that nobody feels aggrieved. Going sledge-free would be a good choice because we know from last week that Watto can't handle a couple of sledges, but since I now already have my first sledge in, I guess I am going to have to go for everybody.
After all my pleads for an early start, I arrived very late at the Jesus grounds happy to see my whole team present (except obviously for Junaid), and to learn that Wiesner have won the toss and decided to bat. (The job isn't yours yet Wiesner). I immediately asserted my authority and send Junaid and Chalky in to open the innings. Junaid couldn't follow his heroics of last week and tamely fell in the second over to a slow bowler and a slow pitch. He then went to start an even slower dump in the changerooms that amazingly lasted longer than his innings, and half of ours. Chalky and I than build a solid 60-plus partnership until I fell fittingly having a flash outside offstump. The same way I fell three years ago in my first match. Included in this partnership was what must be the first instance of Chalky running a five, showing that we have all learned something over the last 2 years. Watto followed shortly, also very fittingly given LBW by his teammate after he walked across the stumps. The ball hit his thighpad but he was croaching down and it looked pretty out from the pavillion. True to form Watto complained about the decision and soon left the field to attend to some off-field "girlfriend"-matters. Yes guys, he hasn't learned from his last mistake. Meanwhile Chalky continued with his (in the words of Sam) "Uncanny ability not to get out", flashing outside offstump and only occasionally hitting one out of 10 for a boundary. A well-played 36 got us to 100/4 when Sam and Jezz decided to slowly rebuild the innings. Struggling against the spinners they couldn?t get the ball off the pitch, but did contribute a valuable 30+ and 22 respectively. Stanton came in and showed them what hitting was all about with a quickfire 20 from only a couple of balls. 178/9 in 40 overs.
Tea was had, with us again proving that we are top-class caterers. Our favourite Brownies were sorely missed but Stephen compensated well with an excellent chocolate cake.
Martin straight from his "Vegas Wedding with Mrs Booth starring security guard Joe Cohen", opened up the bowling with "soon to be married" Wiesner. Together they bowled one of the unluckiest spells ever. Balls were flying in between the gaps in the slips; just missing the stumps; LBW's were refused and even Sam dropped one. They both got a couple of wickets though. Sam and Watto followed with a wicket each and we were soon in the ascendancy. Tony came and bowled a brilliant spell of swing bowling in which he took 4 wickets; while Me, Jezz and Junaid each got a chance to showcase our spinning fingers. They were all out for about 100, but their last two batsmen did prolong the agony by facing something like 12 overs. Mention must be made of Sam's three catches, Tony and Jezz's dropped catches, Stanton?s unplayable short 3-over bowling spell, and Stephen sacrificing a toe behind the stumps to stop a ball. All in all we had one of our best efforts in the field and ended the season with a well-played victory. After pub discussions included the now infamous Mrs Booth's Vegas wedding, and reminiscing about the good season we had. We ended it off with an excellent curry that scandalously cost more than the infamous wedding.
QW
Fines:
Dropped Catches: Tony, Sam, Jezz
Longest dump in history (yes even longer then Benson?s): Junaid
Trisha fine: Tony, Chalky. (For unnecessary ?soap-opera?-like discussion of other peoples? weddings)
Watto fine: James Watson (for leaving the field to attend to a girlfriend)