THE TOOLER |
FIXTURE LIST(compiled by Kate Urch) |
CASH FOR CURRIE'S...After years of their sharing of training runs and ankle tape our esteemed President gets ever closer to turning her life over to former OUOC President Dave Curry (not to be confused with the OUOC Christmas Currie). Oh yes, the happy couple are to form their own Committee on 2nd September. Readers will remember how their peach of an engagement announcement at the 1999 Varsity Match resulted in some amazing physical reactions, later mistaken to be dancing. In fact the Chimpster was so over the moon his celebrations earned him the last (and first) Simon Beck Memorial Dancing Trophy of the last Millenium. | The Tab Captain... Because he turns up everywhere. |
OXFORD BROOKES OREINTEERING UPDATEby Rob PmalerWel not much has hapenned in the polly's O seen this yer now top runner K-leb Gold has gon and the training weak was cold and may be next yer we will do more! |
ORIENTEERS CAN'T SHAKE HASH HABITOver the year members of OUOC have been off running with the newly formed Oxford Hash House Harriers. Rumour has it that these addicts follow trails of 'substances' around the streets of Oxford before turning to drink. Beware of these people as they will try to win you over to their undercover habits. |
CAROLINE PICKS UP THE TABAnd other shameful exposes...The Tooler's intrepid reporters have picked up on the scandal of the year. New runner Caroline Catmur forcibly denied her claim to be (?from) SLOW with a speedy pick-up in TABland. Rumours that her dancing with the devil began as early as the legendary Sprint-O are to be questioned for surely no-one would delay the minibus for time with one of them? When interviewed yesterday Caroline ensured us that "They're not all Filthy cheating Tabs" but a MORI survey of all Oxford students showed that almost 99% doubted this statement. Meanwhile the heresy goes on. It has been said that at least she held him down, which is apparently more than Alc-O Champ Tom N managed with that bottle of wine. Mitchell's VM attempt on a Tab international was luckily prevented by heroic banter on the part of that Tom Norton. Some say Tom M went downhill from there, resorting to a Park End encounter with a 'past acquaintance' of his Somerville namesake. Continued on page 2 |
'BIRD' URCH STALKED BY KIWI TWITCHERAt that same TAB Sprint-O our girl Kate developed closer international relations with a certain top Short Race orienteer. Furthering her French Liaison soon proved troublesome for Urch whose allure was obviously too much for this runner. Much to the shock of students worldwide our girl turned down the free meals. Anyone who believes that she caused his nervous twitch should be reminded of the rumour that this happened when he was knocked over by Fat Tom a year earlier. |
CUPPERS 2000was to be held on the large Youlbury estate on 27 May (mapped at 1:5000). Resident scout campers are however ensuring that a new area must be found. Wherever it ends up tips for the top are tricky at this stage. The Men's field seem mostly injured but CATI-planner CATmur should have no problems in the Women's. Mind you, last year an overweight Marine proved that whilst 'Prior Preparation & Planning Prevent Piss-Poor Performance' it still couldn't guarantee a win. |
OBITUARIESTHE TOOLER says good-bye and good riddance (not really)
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KING COMBATS GENESAfter losing the talents of Nicky King to the boatie crowd some years ago, there was initial disappointment when her little sister Ruth joined OUOC to begin rowing. However it appears that the gene has mutated for Ruth has seemingly escaped. Hearty congratulations. Meanwhile evidence that Guy was ever an orienteer is rapidly becoming harder and harder for our reporters to trace.TOP CANADIAN CHAINS HIMSELF TO DESKKeep your eyes peeled for once President Dave D who has apparently ended his protest at the amount of free time Physicists have for orienteering. His self-imposed light-starvation has left him a little scarred but reports are that he's on track for a full recovery. |
CZECH YOUR DIARIESOn tour une deuzieme fois to the Czech Republic this year. Tim kindly turns to tour management, apparently saving his brain from full computerisation. Cumpstey Snr's clearly looking forward to visiting his hareem whilst his little bro seemed to find it nice and easy to sleep there. |
BAND SEEKS VOCALISTFor screaming along to heavy metal guitarists. Contact Luke 'Iron Maiden' or TBN. |
MITCHELL STUCK IN A RUT(H)Continued from Front Page Mention should be made of Tom Mıs other Varsity exploit. A return visit to new OUOC member Ruth proves the old adage that history repeats itself and this incident probably reminded the happy couple of earlier days. We wish them well for the future. |